Posted on by LA · 56 Comments

What Are You Wearing?

What are you wearing?

I sent this text to a friend last week.  Of course, as soon as I hit “send” and I actually looked at the text, I said to myself – “ooh….that doesn’t look good.”

And I quickly typed “That looked weird.  What do you think is comfortable to wear?”

Words right?  Powerful.  I knew what I meant.  My friend, who responded “LOL.  Leggings and t shirt” obviously knew what I meant.  But…in another circumstance….

Now- this anecdote really doesn’t have anything to do with the post I’m about to write.  I thought it was just a funny way to introduce the story about something I did last week.

I have a friend S, who is very cool and fun.  She is like me, an open minded cynic.  She is willing to give anything a try, but always has a little grain of doubt in the back of her mind.  This is the perfect friend for me:  we had saved a date to play, and when it came time to get an actual plan in place she said to me:

“Let’s do something different.”

“How about a salt room?  I saw a groupon.” I said.

“Great.  Let’s do it.”

FYI- I love friends like this- willing to try different stuff that is neither illegal or immoral.  Fattening is a plus however…

Salt Room.

How do I explain this?

It’s a room filled with Himalayan Salt.  And there’s lights on the ceiling. There is meditative music in the background.  There are two seating options: 1) lay on the ground on the salt itself or 2) lay in a zero gravity lounge chair.

So I laid back on this heavenly lounge chair, at least two comfy blankets on top of me, and I stared at the ceiling and breathed deeply.  In and out.  In and out.  For 60 minutes.

What is it supposed to do?

It is supposed to clear your sinuses.  It is supposed to relax you.  I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’ve had sinus issues of late.  I also have a little trouble relaxing.

Did it work?

Well, I felt relaxed.  Seriously.  My mind was clear.  My body felt a little tingle running through it.  I felt clean.  My sinuses didn’t feel inflamed.  My friend felt the same way.  About the breathing and relaxing anyway.  I didn’t ask her about the tingle.  I mean, I’d already started out the day by asking her what she was wearing- am I really going to ask her if her body is tingling?

Now- here’s the thing:  Did we feel good because the salt room actually worked, or was it a placebo effect?  We already know by my word play at the beginning, our minds are capable of convincing ourselves of anything, or interpreting things in a variety of ways.

So- did the room do what it promised?

More importantly- does it matter, since the end result was two less stuffy nosed and calmer people?

So here’s todays dime store wisdom:

  1. Try new things
  2. Groupon is good if you manage to get the special before it runs out (we missed the special price, but were so excited about the concept we did it anyway- that’s how we roll- we did it without the groupon)
  3. Be open minded, but not naïve
  4. Find a friends to have adventures with
  5. Breathe.
  6. Relax
  7. Find your inner peace
  8. Be careful of how you word a text
  9. Enjoy the experience that is life
  10. Don’t add a number 10 just because you have to have some sort of logic to your numerical list

Namaste

 

 

 

Posted on by LA · 58 Comments

The Reformer

I know.  With that title you’re expecting a Western, or a Cop story.  Instead, you’ll be getting a blog about exercise.

Yup.

Exercise.

Reformer is a form of Pilates, which is (per dictionary.com) a “system of exercises using special apparatus, designed to improve physical strength, flexibility, and posture, and enhance mental awareness.”

Now, in layman’s terms, if you’re a devotee of the Fifty Shades stuff, you’re going to love Pilates.  You are laying on a rack, with your feet and arms in various types of straps, pushing your body to do things that will probably cause you to scream out “Oh God”, and thoroughly understand the concept of pleasure and pain.  There’s a Rihanna song that totally plays in your head when you’re on the table, feet in straps, and moving your legs side to side and up and down.

Seriously.

I am stretching muscles that I didn’t know existed.  My inner thighs burn from leg movement.  And my core (more commonly known as abs)- I understand how someone can have a “6 pack” because I actually feel the muscle movement in at least 6 stomach areas.

So, what’s the verdict?

I feel better after class.  I have gone to 3 classes so far (I’m going once a week, every Friday).  I have better movement in my joints- I feel my hips opening up.  I have/had planters fasciitis in one foot and tendonitis in the other, and the series of stretches I do is actually relieving my foot pain.  My abs are stronger, which in turn is making my back stronger.  But I feel every area of my body getting a little stronger, a little looser, a little more flexible.  Though I do ache and “need” to take a hot bath with lavender and Epsom salts (candle and soft music also essential), it is a good ache.  I feel like my muscles have been exercised, but not hurt.

My body feels good.

But my mind also feels good.  I am  sleeping better.  Don’t get me wrong- I’m still a crazy type A lunatic, but I’m a little tiny bit calmer.  it’s a start.

I will also say that the teacher I have is probably the best teacher ever.  No lie.  She is patient, explains what the exercise is, what it will work, and why it’s important.  She walks around the class to make sure we are all doing things properly.  She is calm and laid back, and while those are not qualities I normally look for in others, it is totally welcome, wanted and needed during this class.  I feel like her presence is a good warm hug.

Trying Pilates was one of my goals for 2018.  I’m glad I was able to fit it into my weekly routine.  My other goal was to work out at least 5 days a week, which I exceeded by exercising every day this month.  (though I may not go to the gym today because I have a stupidly packed schedule- Tuesday is my crazy day)

Onward and upward….

Posted on by LA · 71 Comments

January Writing Update

I started another writing class this month, Fiction 2 with Gotham Writers Workshop.  This experience is different than the one I had last semester.  Last semester my teacher was a woman, older than me and a novelist/screenwriter.  This session, my teacher is male, younger than me (I believe he’s 12) and a short story writer.  The biggest difference is not the gender or the age:  it is the writing discipline.  Writing a short story versus a novel is the same, yet different.

Many of my classmates favor very ambiguous stories.  They’re OK with limited, or no plot.  They’re OK with vague descriptions.  They’re OK with no dialogue.  These are things the novel people never want to read/see.  The biggest criticism I get when presenting my novel is the lack of description- I am dialogue heavy, and personally, I don’t care if the kitchen is all black and modern, or yellow and countryesque.  But, readers of novels do.  Readers of short stories don’t.

Should I become a short story writer?

No.  I want to write a longer work.

So we have the first conundrum I face when working on my novel: how do I add description to my work?

Seriously. how do I add description to my work?

My problem appears to be in my first chapter.  OK- I have problems in other chapters as well, but lets begin with the section I’m currently playing with.  I need to introduce my setting, which is a kitchen, and my protagonist and her three best friends.  (on a completely different note- I did learn in this current class that the protagonist and main character do not have to be the same- who knew???)  This is a lot of information in the beginning of the book, and I am having difficulty maintaining my light, fun voice with the task of similes, metaphors, adverbs and adjectives.  I like description to appear in little bits and pieces.  People reading my book do not.  They want a laundry list of how the room looks.  How do I reconcile what the reader wants with how I want to present the story?

Is this the first basic problem with writing?  Writing what you want versus writing what people want to read?  Is this just a variation of chicken/egg?

So, I’ve added a prologue.  I am introducing my protagonist separately.  I’m laying out one of the “problems” before I even get to anything else.  I’m establishing the tone and voice.   I think I’m liking this better, but it is my first rewrite, so….

Which leads me to the following:  my first draft is finished.

Yay.

Sort of.

To explain, I have the first half of the novel fleshed out.  The second half is just major arcs.  I have to fill in the filler.  Here’s the thing I realized- I want the filler to actually count, so I need to flesh out the filler better in the first half, so that it is more meaningful in the second half.  What, you say.  I didn’t understand this last sentence, how am I going to understand her novel?  I wish I could explain my thought process a little better, but really, how much do you want to get into my brain?

But, I am pleased with the main points of the novel.  I like my two characters- they are funny and smart and damaged, just like we all are.  I only hope that these things are coming across on the page.  I am enjoying the process though.  I look forward to writing.  That is huge for me, the fact that I look forward to writing.   I even think about plot points and dialogue when I am doing other things- my little pink notebook is never far from my side.

In other writing news.  I blogged at least 5 times a week this month.  Yay.  Had so much amazing feedback from comments and generated lots of new blog ideas.  Thank you all for that- you keep me on my toes and keep me thinking.  You are all an inspiration.  My hope is that every now and then I inspire you.

I formed a writing group with two of the women from my first fiction class.  This is the best thing I did.  We meet every three weeks and really do a line by line critique of each others work.  Even if I don’t like their suggestions, it’s making me look at my novel in a different way.  I’m thinking of the overall theme more, because I see how individual word choice effects the general feel of a work.

My next task is to try to find an agent.  Yeah.  Good times.  I don’t know how to even start this process, but my February goal is to start researching the “how”.  You’ll get the report next month.

So there you have it: a summary of my writing for January.  Tune in next month for the latest tale of my writing highs and lows.

Happy writing!!!

 

 

 

 

Posted on by LA · 15 Comments

A Note and Some Pictures

Hi All- First, a note to my blog friends.  I had a busy afternoon yesterday, and when I returned home I tried to catch up on all the blogs I missed.  I was doing well until I hit a wall.  When I would try to view a post I was getting the message “Web Page Not Loaded Correctly.  Restarting” and it would bring me to the top of the Reader section.  Never one to say quit, I tried using the actual website instead of the app.  Same thing.  WordPress is apparently mad at me because I’ve been talking about it behind its back.  So to all the bloggers who wrote between approximately 9:30 am and 2:30 pm EST, I was unable to read you yesterday.  I know this was definitely Tater, cause his blog was the first one I experienced the problem with.  Will hopefully catch up on what I missed at some point!!!

And now we have this weeks photo experiments.  I’m still playing with aperture….my photography friends are saying, “yes, we know and you suck”.    My friends who exclusively use their phones are saying “what?”

DSC02383DSC02395DSC02364 (2)DSC02350DSC02355

Happy Saturday!

 

Posted on by LA · 57 Comments

Regrets, I’ve Had A Few……

I had a friend who wanted to be a professional musician.  He was quite a good guitarist, and focused on getting better.  Along with 3 of his friends he formed a band.  They wrote their own songs and had a decent local following.  They put out a modest album and toured the country.  Not big name locales, but colleges and bars.  This went on for about 8 years, this life on the road.  Another album, some rock festivals.  He had achieved his dream.

Sort of.

He wasn’t sure if he made the right decision.  He went for his dream instead of going to college.

“But” I said to him, “you did it.  You lived your dream.  You were a musician.  You had actual albums and actual fans.  You supported yourself with your music for years.  You were a success.”

“Ahh”  he responded.  “I guess I really wanted to be a rock star.  I wanted all the trappings.  And I didn’t get that.  I wasn’t a rock star.  I went for it and I failed.  I think I would have preferred the ‘what if’.  At least I could still be a rock star in my dreams.  Now my dreams are how I didn’t make it.”

Now, I thought he was crazy.  I thought he was awesome cause he went for it.  He gave it his all.  I couldn’t imagine why he was upset with his decision.  I have always been a firm believer in just go for it.  The only decisions you regret are the ones you don’t follow through on.  That’s my mantra.

Yet….

Last month I talked about contacting an old friend I’d had a falling out with.  I debated whether or not it was worth it, opening up the old wound.  And I reached out to this person.  And I got no response.  Nothing.

Well, on one side, I know that this friendship is definitely over.

On the other side I was a jumble of emotions.  Pissed, hurt, annoyed, sad.

I regretted reaching out.  I thought that maybe I would rather have the thought of not knowing.

I thought that my friend had been right.  Not knowing is better.  (Now I know- his situation was much greater than my situation.  But you know, when you’re in the middle of something you think it is the greatest dilemma ever)

But them after some soul searching, I realized that it was better knowing that our friendship couldn’t be revived.

I was back on the “Just go for it” train.

Now this brings me to last weeks post about my daughter prepping for the SAT.  Most of you thought I was a bit crazy and over analytical about the situation.  But, here’s the thing:  I want my daughter to know she did everything possible to get into the school(s) she wants.  I want her to know that she left nothing on the table, that she did what was needed to achieve her goal/dream.  My job as her parent is to help her reach her goal, whatever that is.  That’s what we do for the people we love.  We help them on their journey.

I supported my Husband when he went back to school.  My Husband and Daughter support me in my dream of writing a novel.  We support her on her quest of the green, leafy walls.

No regrets.

Go for it.

If you fail, you know you tried.

Because if you fail at one thing, you get the opportunity to find another dream.

If you never try, you spend your whole life wondering “What if”.

And “what if” ends up giving you nightmares.  Because you realize you never tried.

So…

Go For It

No regrets.

Posted on by LA · 80 Comments

Simply, Luxuriously, Minimal

Every January I get an urge to read self help books.  Now these self help tomes have a related theme:  they all revolve around living a simple yet elegant life.  I have a vision in my head of clean lines, clear surfaces and well chosen accent pieces.  Of a closet with a few thoughtfully chosen clothing.  Of a house that radiates refined elegance and calm. Of a mind that radiates elegance and calm.

So every January I read a few of these books.  I recently finished “Choosing the Simply Luxurious Life” by Shannon Ables.  I read through the wisdom of the author,  I find things I agree with, and things that I don’t.  But basically I try to find one or two  little tidbits of information that will make my life better.  The two tidbits I got out of this book were 1)the best way to lead a simple life is to be yourself, and get to know yourself, and 2) end each day with an exquisite chocolate truffle.   (Honestly don’t know how I never thought of number 2 before reading this book).  This assessment is not necessarily fair to the author- the book was quite good, but at this point I’m almost an expert on this subject.  She didn’t tell my anything I didn’t know.

So what are my issues?

How much time do you have?

I live in a small space.  We have things.  It’s hard to fit all the things in a very small space.  But the real question is, why do we need all the things.  So I am constantly on a quest to get rid of “things” in our home.  We adhere to a strict one in, one out rule, which just means we only buy something as a replacement, or if we need to have something, we need to get rid of something else.  I also make everyone donate/dump one item every week.  We are not a family that has a junk drawer with things we couldn’t list.  I could probably tell you the contents of every drawer and cabinet in the house.  We are not a house with pens that do not work- my family is well trained in throwing those out.  But we still have “stuff”.

And this stuff makes me agitated.  This stuff makes my not so calm self just a little bit crazier.

I have a strange battle with want vs need.  Do I need the cake stand where the top doesn’t affix to the bottom anymore?  No.  I do not need broken things  Yet why do I keep it? Well, in this case, it’s actually an expensive piece and I’m too lazy to sell it on ebay.  It was also a wedding present.  But yet it sits on display in my living room.  And it mocks me every time I look at it.

There are times I wish I could just throw everything out in my house and start fresh- buy items thoughtfully and individually based on what I actually needed and loved.  I did this with my wardrobe to a certain extent.  When I began using Stitchfix last fall, I basically got rid of every item of clothing in my wardrobe.  Other than athletic wear, I left myself with about 15 basic pieces that I either absolutely loved, or were perfect comfy writing clothes.  (yes- if I’m not in gym wear while writing I’m in the softest sweats and t shirt imaginable)

And it felt great.  It feels great.  It is nice to get dressed knowing that whatever I put on will make me feel great because I absolutely love it.  I like having very few items, because it makes my choices simple.  If I’m going on a date night with my Husband I have three outfits that I love- he doesn’t care if he’s seen me in them.  He’s happy that I feel great walking out the door.  Because that’s the point of clothing- to make you feel confident and beautiful.  No one wants to hang out with someone who doesn’t feel great.

I want the rest of my house to make me feel like I do about my closet/wardrobe.  I want to love every item.  I want to sit in my living room and find the peace and calm I need to combat my mind which is always on overdrive.

And every year I work on it a little bit more.  Every year I take a fresh look at the items that make up my space and decide if they are needed in the inventory of my life.  The statue my Father gave me for my 50th birthday?  I don’t really like it, but my Father never purchases things for me- this he went out and specifically bought for me.  i will keep this- because it’s special in other ways.  The vase I don’t even remember acquiring and I don’t really like?  Well, that gets ditched.  My Yurtle the Turtle book from when I was a child?  The one that made me a lifelong reader?  Hell no.  That’s not going anywhere.  But other books, well, unless they’re signed or written by my friends, they’re gone.  Pictures are a keep.  Bric a brac is a toss.

And every year my space gets a little closer to my ideal.   My desk is now perfect for me.  I spent the first two weeks of January making it my ideal space- it is a place I now look forward to going to every morning to write.  I’m sitting here now, and I look up and around me and my mind is at ease.  My mind is focused.  My mind is happy.  I am happy.

Every year I feel a little more peace in my mind.

Every year I feel a little bit better about myself.

Self help.

What a concept.

 

 

Posted on by LA · 105 Comments

What can I say?

There are many things I love about blogging.  The writing, the reading, the commenting.  But there is one thing that bothers me about blogging:  commenting when someone has shared a particularly personal post.

I am rarely at a loss for words.  Few things leave me speechless (or wordless- you know that- you read my posts.)  Yet, when faced with someone’s heart and soul all over a page, I find myself with a blank space where my mind is supposed to be.  No words in my arsenal seem adequate.  How do you tell someone you’re there with them?  How do you tell someone you’re glad they shared?

First off- how do you “like” a piece that was obviously hard to write, and harder to share?  Hitting the “like” button often seems callous- you obviously don’t/can’t like the situation described.  Yet, that’s the first, and in the case of WordPress, only option.  We’re supposed to be liking a piece based on how it’s written or presented, not necessarily the subject matter.  So I “like” a piece, no matter how devastating.

But “like” is not enough.  I always feel I need to comment on these pieces.  But what do you say?

A few weeks ago, one of my blog friends told us about some health issues that were not so great.  I felt so sad for this woman, but I did not know what to say.  I simply wrote

“I am thinking of you.  I wish I had better words to say to you”

My blog friend responded and told me that my thoughts and that sentiment were better than all the other stupid things people say.

Score one for honesty and humility.

And that is the route I normally follow.  I have also said the following:

“Thank you for sharing.”

“You are very strong and I wish you hadn’t endured this situation”

“I’m sorry.”

And that’s my repertoire.  Those are the best comments I have.  They are the lines I use when I truly feel that words are inadequate, yet I feel something more is needed.

Are they enough?

This feeling of word inadequacy extends to my real life as well.  What do you say to someone who is grieving? What do you say to someone that has gone through a devastating event?

About 20 years ago, one of my closest friends lost her 3 year old son in a freak accident.  I told her “I Love you.” because really- what can I say to a Mother experiencing the most ultimate of grief?  Was there anything that was going to be the “right” thing?  Honestly, this will be the only time you ever hear me speak of this tragedy, because I’m still not over it.  I still give my friends an extra hug when I see her, and extra XO on the end of a text.  Because there is nothing to say.

I think you have to be very careful about choosing the words you use to help someone through a tough time.  I think many options, though meant in a good way, end up sounding callous or hard or inconsiderate.  I think people grieve differently, so it’s hard to know exactly what will make someone feel better, or at least make them not feel worse.  This is why I go with simplicity and brevity.  I let someone know that I’m thinking of them, because that is all the solace I can offer.  There is no magic formula to instantly rectify a lousy situation.  I wish there was.

I’m sure I will continue to struggle with finding the proper words to console someone.  I think humans are built to look for the bright side of things, so looking straight into the dark side is hard.  We want to squeeze our eyes shut and wish the tragedy away.  But we all know life doesn’t work like that.  When you open your eyes, the pain is still there.

This is dedicated to all my friends who have had a particularly tough time of late.  I’m thinking of you.

Posted on by LA · 104 Comments

Blah

I’m going to give you a peak into my mind.  Be forewarned.  I keep a list of blog topic ideas.  On Sunday nights I look them over and I schedule in what topics I am going to talk about in the upcoming week.  Unless something so thrilling happens, I pretty much stick to this method.  The night before I post, I look at my topic and I think about how I’m going to present it- I “sleep on it” if you will.

This method works for me.

So last night as I reviewed my schedule for today, I looked at the topic.  The Dentist visit.  I was going to right about how my daughter’s dentist appointment annoyed me last week.  This topic would be a rant.  I looked at the Wednesday topic- my painting class at Michaels- also a rant. I realized that both of these ideas had a common thread other than being rants: they both occurred on the same day- dentist in the afternoon, painting class at night.  And I had felt out of sorts all day.

I rant about things a lot.  (I know- you guys didn’t know that about me- but there you have it)  But I try to find the humor in these situations.  When I wrote these blog ideas, I wasn’t thinking of either of these situations with humor- I was thinking of them with anger.  So I was angry that day.  I didn’t want to try to find the bright side.

I was in a negative frame of mind.

So the dentist instituting a new policy that you have to fill out a long questionnaire annoyed me.  This is information that hasn’t changed, and should be on file.  I asked the receptionist why I had to fill out the paperwork again.  She said the paperwork had to be filled out anew every 6 months.  Guess how often my daughter goes to the dentist?  If you said every 6 months, you would be right.   I was being combative with her- I didn’t want to let it go.  This continued with their new policy of them keeping our credit card info on file.  And our social security numbers.  I badgered the woman, asking why this information was necessary for my daughter to her teeth cleaned.  I wasn’t letting go.  I was in a foul mood and I had this woman in my crosshairs.

When I went to the free painting class at Michal’s (arts and crafts store), I was annoyed that the store didn’t have the supplies they said we needed.  I was annoyed that the teacher hadn’t read the instructions about the craft that we were supposed to be doing.  I realize that you get what you pay for, but really, if I wanted to read instructions and do something by myself, I could have done that in the comfort of my own home: I didn’t have to schlep across town in the arctic chill.  I wanted an instructor.  I don’t know how to paint.  I wanted her to tell me what I needed to do.  That didn’t happen.

I know that these are both things that could potentially make someone mad.  I get that.  I get the feeling of being pissed off because you feel like you’ve wasted your time.  But it’s really about your attitude. Did these incidents really warrant be being whiny and bitchy?

Does any situation give you right to be bitchy and whiny?

And why was I in such a lousy mood that day?

I try to maintain a positive attitude-good positivity does beget good things.    But some days.  Some days are worse than others though.  Sometimes I really feel like I woke up on the wrong side of life.

And that’s how I felt on the particular day that these events occurred.  Negative.  Like the world was against me.

Why do we sometimes just have bad days?

I wish I knew.

But I do think I need to find a better way of handling the off days.  I don’t think it’s good for my mental health to spend an entire day being cranky- especially when there is no actual reason for being cranky.  Nothing bad had happened.  Life was, and is, going pretty well.

How do you handle cranky days?

Do you have a secret fix that works for you, or do you just ride it out?

My next goal is to figure out how to get myself out of a funk when I feel the dark cloud of bitchiness descending upon me.

And the goal after that is to figure out what to write about tomorrow, as I just sort of told you the Michael’s story.

 

 

Posted on by LA · 38 Comments

The Fight- The Follow Up

Last week I talked about the fight that the Husband and I had.  He wanted to have people over- I objected to the extra add in.  I’m going to talk about it a bit more.

After reading the post, my very wise blog friend Michele commented.  What she said was simple, yet powerful.  Though she understood my viewpoint entirely, she asked me if my Husband would have regrets about not having his Aunt and Uncle over.

Simple, right?

And so spot on the correct way to think about this situation.

When you choose to be in a relationship, and you do choose to be in one, you sometimes need to put your partners thoughts and wishes ahead of your own.  (to clarify, I mean with things you are not morally opposed to)  As a half of a couple, you sometimes need to help your partner through their particular path in life.  When my Husband wanted to get a graduate degree, I backed him up.  I took full responsibility for my daughter.  I got out of the house if he needed to have a study group at our house.  I did whatever possible to help him fulfill his dream.  Because that’s what a partner does.

My Husband’s Uncle is ill.  He is not going to get better.  If having his Uncle over for a game was really going to make Husband just a little more content, then who was I to screw that up?  In the list of things he could ask of me, this was such a small thing.  Michele was right.  This was one of those moments that I needed to put him first.

I want to write a novel.  He is supporting my dream.  Because he knows if I don’t take this shot, I am going to regret it the rest of my life.

We help our partners reach their dreams.  We assist them with their goals.  When you choose to be in a partnership, like it or not, you become a we.  You can have your own identity, but you have a shared identity as well.  I am Me. I am a wife.  I am a Mom.  I am a daughter.  I am a sister. I am a whole host of other things.  These are all parts that make up me, my past, my present, and my future.

Now to the more practical.

The concert was amazing.  Gorgeous music.  We didn’t know if we were going to make it though, cause the subways were wonky.  We got into our seats at exactly 2pm, the scheduled start of the concert.  But just lovely.

My Husband invited his Uncle and Aunt, but they were unable to attend.  So the invitation became a non event.  My Father in Law was the only one over.

Many of you had suggestions of easy food that I could prepare.  All wonderful ideas, except my Father in Law likes maybe 6 foods.  Let me give you some examples.  We took him to breakfast once, at a café known for breakfast.  They have about 15 egg dishes, pancakes, waffles, French toast.  Tons of stuff.  Father in law wanted a grilled cheese, which is not on the menu.  He berated the waiter for 15 minutes because they didn’t serve grilled cheese.  Scenario 2- I cooked a holiday dinner.  I made 6 course, plus appetizers.  He ate 2 pieces of ham.  2 pieces of ham.  He didn’t like the crudité  cause it’s raw veggies.  Didn’t like pea soup.  Didn’t like salad with dressing.  Didn’t like the roasted sweet potato’s.  Didn’t like Brussel sprouts.  Was loudly annoyed that we didn’t have bread with the meal.  Do you get the idea of why feeding him is a problem?

And my Husband was bored with the football games.

And thank you all for the amazing comments on this topic!  You all gave me a lot to think about, and ideas for future posts!!!!