I ordered Stitch Fix the other day.  For the uninitiated, this is a company that will send you 5 stylish additions to your wardrobe.  You fill out a questionnaire- it is very thorough- they ask how you like your clothes to fit, describe your body (are your arms short, average or long), colors, lifestyle.  You are shown pictures of various outfits and you rate them, love, like or hate.  I’m a quiz kind of person, so this was fun for me.  Though too much Buzzfeed left me with expecting an answer as to who my soul mate is (George Clooney if you’re wondering…)

I received my first box the other day.  The clothes were shockingly perfect for me, both in style and fit.  That’s one hell of an algorithm and stylist combination.  I sent pictures to my friends- they were excited to see what I got.

Now- I know many of you know I live in the middle of NYC- a place kind of well known for it’s shopping.  Why would I buy clothes online, site unseen, based on what someone who does not know me thinks would be perfect?

Well, I hate shopping.  And shopping here is not always a pleasure, especially here.  For window shopping it’s wonderful- there are always beautiful things to see.  But that’s fantasy shopping.  That’s not buying a pair of jeans and a nice shirt to wear out on a Saturday afternoon shopping.

I was also in a style rut.  This is multi part.  First off, I’m older.  I loved the way I dressed when I was younger, but those clothes and styles no longer make me happy.  I love mini skirts, but not on me.  Not now.  5 years ago sure.  But not now.  I’m OK with my age.  I’m happy to have made it this far.  I would wear a big scarlet 50+ sign if I could.  (Sorry- daughter is reading Scarlet Letter and I’ve heard about that book for a month now)  But I wasn’t sure how to shop for the new me.

This wasn’t just about my age though. It was also about extra pounds lodged around my waist and chest.

I noticed that I was buying clothes that were baggy and shapeless, and I was buying a size too large on top of that.  I realized that I was literally hiding under things.  I had not realized how much the extra weight I was now carrying was effecting me mentally.  This is not healthy on so many levels, but as soon as you realize you are hiding in plain sight, you know it’s time for an attitude adjustment.

I’ve mentioned that I have weight and food issues that I have been dealing with my entire life.  I’ve never been anorexic or bulimic, but I’ve still let food dictate my life.  For much of my adult life I’ve been able to deal with it, but at the end of the day, the issues are still deep inside me.  They have the ability to reappear at any moment.  I must be aware of this.

So this is why I asked a complete stranger to pick out clothes for me.  I needed a gentle nudge.  I needed to know that I can still be me, even with the added pounds.  I needed to exist.  I needed to come out of hiding.

But it wasn’t just the clothes- it was my whole appearance.  I love make up and manicures and all things once considered girly.  I love them for me, because they always made me feel good- but I noticed I was getting very lax.  My cuticles were a mess, I walked around with chipped polish, I was letting more and more time go between haircuts.  The extra pounds made me feel like the there was no point in taking care of myself.

Big. Red. Flag.

Once I was fully aware of what I was doing- I set up a plan to change.  Raise your hands if you’re shocked that I wrote out a list and added things to my planner.

I wore some of my new clothes on Saturday.  I did my nails.  I felt lighter.  I felt like me again.  I really missed me.  I’m glad I found her again.

And some of you may think this is superficial, that appearances shouldn’t matter.  And that’s great- I get that- the inside is what counts.  But see, with me, the insides weren’t at 100%, which was affecting the outside.  The insides were affecting my whole person.  So I self corrected.

Sometimes you have to self correct.

48 thoughts on “Look into the Mirror

  1. Oh boy ,can I identify with this post. I go shopping for clothes and end up with sweats(its cold in the house) or I’ll walk out with nothing. Stores,like Kohls sell “Grandma”clothes for bigger sizes. Lately I’ve been buying pieces from Woman Within. Soft fabrics. Styles for my A line body and I have to buy a size smaller because they oversize.yay!-little thrill

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I tried StichFix and it sucked for me. I kept the necklace.
    I also hate shopping, however, if I go with my sister, who has a better sense of style than I do, THAT helps a lot. And I’ve decided to also not hide under super baggy shirts that make me look like I shop at Omar the Tentmaker.
    Of course, losing 30-35 lbs didn’t hurt, either.

    Great post, hon.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m in a slump myself! Usually, I take pride in pulling myself together as far a appearance goes. Lately, I’m not doing my hair, or makeup. I think because I’ve put on some weight recently I’m feeling a bit down on myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is such a touching post. Oh, I’d love to have someone shop for me and send me all the clothes. I don’t think it’s superficial at all. Like they say (not sure who they are) ‘if mums not happy the family’s not happy’. Sometimes we put so much effort into everyone else we forget the most important one, xx

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hello. Today’s message was/is a fantastic post! You have hit upon so many of my own thoughts about being 68 and no longer an hourglass-vision. And when I WAS an hourglass, I fled the beaches of Hawaii and hid in Alaska, where your parka hid everything but your smile. Ah, but that’s another story. I’ve never had a manicure or a pedicure, but I did have a horse. My hair is fine and straight, and I literally can’t do a thing with it, so why waste time trying. Again, Alaska was the answer. And don’t ask me about nylons or high heels…Do women even wear nylons, anymore? I now order my over-sized, loose-fitting muu-muus from a catalog because I, also detest shopping…especially for clothes. Luckily, my husband of 42 years doesn’t seem to notice how my naked form has morphed, and he couldn’t be more accommodating to me. I chalk this up to a decision made early in my marriage that I would not “nag” him. It seems to have worked, and the sacrifices I’ve made (for instance, he isn’t a dancer) have created a comfort in my older years that no make-up or high-heels or anorexic practices could ever hope to generate.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think people who hate shopping, including me, are more prone to getting into this fix. You don’t shop and spend time on your clothing, so you end up wearing things that don’t inspire or flatter you. II’ve recently added a few things to my wardrobe and it made me happy. I like the concept of this, but I’m pretty picky so don’t know if it would work for me. But I’m happy you’re pleased and shared it with us.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Here’s the thing. There is a 20$ stylist fee which you pay regardless. If you keep any of the clothes, they use the 20 towards the purchase. Free shipping and returns. If you hate shopping it might work. Questions really in depth


  7. Loved your post. You were sharing things I have been thinking myself. I also know a couple of people who have used a similar shopping company. They had some very good results too. Some times you need push to get out of a rut. Thanks for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Never heard of StitchFix but I am going to check it out. Now that I am retired I am in the habit of little or no makeup and no style comfy clothes. I am not unhappy with this but can see the possibility of a downward spiral. Thanks for the post. It has made me think of where I might be headed if I don’t get my style on track.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I signed up monthly. Last week I got a tunic sweater type thing, a white silky blouse with black and burgundy stripes, the best black jeans ever, a cool silver cuff bracelet and a grey blazer, soft and sweatshirty material so it’s comfy but adds a nice touch

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I was interested in it but I work 3 days a week in a uniform so I really do not need a lot of clothes and now that I finally decided to keep and wear the jeans I purchased I only need 3 or 4 tops and I will be all set. I like to shop and if someone wants me to be on the look out for them or find something for them I am on it! Wish I could make a living this way. Glad to hear that it is working for you we all need to take care of ourselves and not feel guilty about it. If Mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. The trick, I’ve found, is to stay motivated! Ruts are so easy to fall into. And there is something oh-so inviting about comfy sweats and slippers. LOL You have me curious about this service now . . . might have to check it out, because I hate shopping too!

        Liked by 1 person

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