You’ve heard me talk about the importance of family tradition.  I believe families should have rituals that they follow in some sort of pattern.  Last weekend, my family went to a corn maze- we have been doing the maze at this location for 12 years.  As we walk down the path, we look at the pictures from past mazes and talk about how fast we did them.  Competitive family- we try to beat our time from the previous year- my daughter is sort of a maze savant- (this year, Queens County Farm Museum threw us a curve ball- they made the maze longer and more difficult- so we had to readjust our expectations)

But just like families- couples and individuals should have rituals too.  My Husband and I did not really have these rituals when my daughter was younger, because we did so much as a family unit.  But we realized a few years ago that our daughter had her own life.  She no longer played soccer and softball, so our attendance was not required at games.  We were no longer needed at weekend activities- she played in a tennis tournament a few weeks ago and told us we didn’t need to come.  She has plans and she has homework and she has more homework.  The husband and I are sort of free.

So- we began a new set of traditions.  We go to the Orchid Show at the Botanic Garden, the cherry blossoms at the other garden, etc.  Last weekend we went to Open House New York (OHNY).  OHNY is where building and organizations open up their doors and give tours- these places are not often seen by the public.  We had tours of two gorgeous churches, including The Church of the Transfiguration (where PG Wodehouse got married) and Marble Collegiate (where Norman Vincent Peale was Pastor).  We also went to Center for Book Arts, where they actually lay the type for some funky books.  I can’t give a good explanation of this place though, hence why I don’t write reviews) but suffice to say it was cool, interesting and different, and I’m considering taking a class just to see how books are made the old fashioned way.

So- now that I’ve included Sunday Wrap up into  Wordy Wednesday…….

I also have started my own traditions.  I now go to the Tribeca Film Festival every year (I think you get the idea of what this is)  I go to the New Yorker Festival (which is basically an event for the editors of the New Yorker to show how intellectual they are by running panel discussions and interviews).  I find things to do on an annual basis.

Why are traditions important?

They give you something to look forward to.

I think as people get older, many have a dread that life is over.  They’ve had kids, they’ve had careers, they’ve owned houses.  They have done some of the things they set out to do.  They also realize that there might be some stuff that they never got around to doing.  That’s when the sadness creeps in.  They don’t always know what to do next- all they see is an empty calendar- days with nothing to fill them.

So you fill in the blanks.

Annual events are an easy way to start.  If I know the New Yorker Festival is the second weekend of October each year, I can jot it down.  That’s a day in the calendar that is not blank- that is something I look forward to.  (I know- half of you are thinking- OMG- she’s off on one of her scheduling tangents- you’re tired just thinking about writing something in your planner (?) for a year from now…I get it….but….)

As we get older, we need to adapt and/or change.   Yeah- I get it – change is hard.  But not changing- well, does that make things easier?

I switched to glasses this week- I didn’t want to, but I had no choice.  Accept and move on.  My daughter will be going to college in a few years and I will no longer see her on a daily basis.  Accept and move on.  Adapt to the new reality.  Live in the present.

 

 

 

35 thoughts on “Continuing On”

  1. You switched to glasses this week but didn’t want too. Why? Were those big tankards of wine finally taking a toll on your wrist? It sounds as though you’re adjusting to change just fine and finding new interests. Good for you. I hated not seeing my daughter as often but we’re in touch every day anyway by text or email it’s not so hard.
    Hugs

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    1. I got a wicked sinus infection last weekend which caused my left to be very weepy and irritated. I need to wear glasses till my sinus thing and eyes are back to normal. After almost 35 years of contact wearing, it was quite an adjustment. It just feels weird.

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  2. I have been in glasses for the past 15 years. My work is so dry my eyes would never support contacts. I, too, found this transition hard and sad, for I was a contact girl from high school. I believed not wearing glasses made me prettier, brighter, and sexier. Now that I’m on the other side of 60 I realize I’ve looked the same every day of my life…glasses or not. So enjoy them!

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  3. I think that many humans are not unlike Pavlov’s dogs. We need rituals, traditions, consistency. So yeah, traditions are good. When the old ones don’t serve their purpose or the purpose has gone, make new traditions.

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  5. Traditions also help make more memories, and it breaks up the mundane of being at home. It’s definitely something to look forward to.
    I’m sorry your daughter didn’t want you to come to her tennis tournament, though. If you had gone, would she have been upset? Did you want to go?

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    1. Ok….let me think how to say this without sounding like horrible mother….after years of soccer and softball, debate tournaments, guitar concerts, piano recitals, elementary school band, publishing parties, art shows and about a thousand other things, including tennis tournaments and matches….I was sort of ok with not going. I love all these things, and have great memories, but I was ok sitting this one out! And her not needing me there….it’s actually the goal…creating an independent child

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  7. I like traditions, but they can either be uplifting, like yours, or a burden. I’m glad that yours keep you going and feeling alive. So often when I see or hear the word “tradition” it’s followed with lots of whining about how difficult it all is. I think to myself: then don’t do it, gumdrop. But whiners gotta whine, I guess– it’s part of their traditions. 😉

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  8. I love traditions, my family literally had none growing up, everything we did was completely haphazard. My Husband and I try to have some traditions, things we enjoy doing or celebrating and I even have my own personal traditions now just for myself, I think those are my favourite!

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      3. Ummm kind of both. So, I used to have Christmas with my mom’s side of the family every other year, now I don’t. So it was kind of something they’d gotten used to and also the girls, but it’s no more. Simultaneously, I started a new tradition of buying a small Christmas tree and decorating it a different color so eventually we’ll have several small trees around the house. I guess I’m not against traditions, but when I get tired of the same one, I let it go…easily. Thanks for letting me talk it out here lol

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  11. Traditions and planning are great pastimes for us midlifers. I was so sad, last night I looked for a 2018 planner and all I found was a 2016/2017 planner. Sad.. Are people not that into planning anymore?? Usually I have my whole next summer planned out by now..

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