Sometimes, things don’t go to plan.  You all know by now that I am a somewhat organized person, who writes lists, and schedules things.  But even with my over attentive habits things fall through the cracks, people get cranky, things happen.

On Friday night, I was at the Botanic Garden with the husband.  My friend with whom I had Sunday plans FINALLY texted me back- you know- while I was out.  Even though we had known we were going to hang out that day, my friend is a little more laid back than me, so we didn’t know what we were going to do.  You can imagine I was getting a little antsy about not knowing what I was doing- and I had sent her a list of suggestions….all which would require tickets, because in NYC, just about everything requires advance tickets and planning.  So while I’m wandering around the gardens, I’m furiously texting S, trying to cement plans…..

When I got home Friday night, I bought the tickets for our planned activity.  When my daughter got home, I helped her get ready for Saturday.  She was playing in a tennis tournament and had to leave early because not only did the tourney start early, it was is the far reaches of Queens, which is a decent trip from Manhattan.  On Friday night, she was as ready as possible for Saturday.

At 6am Saturday morning- she didn’t feel so prepared.  After a week of tennis and homework- her sleep to awake ratio was pretty low- she was tired.  Tired=cranky.  I made her coffee, I made her a hot breakfast.  I packed her a healthy snack.  I refilled her water bottles.  She was snippy towards me- complained that her breakfast was boring- couldn’t I have made her something different?

Let’s just say I was fixated on the words “hot breakfast”, cause I probably said it 20 times.  Lets just say that there were a lot of not so nice words said about 20 times. We argued about metro cards- she wanted mine, I asked her why she didn’t refill hers…..stupid, stupid things…..I told her she was ungrateful cause I didn’t need to help her out….she said I needed to do these things cause I’m her Mom…..

And she stormed off.

We went to the movies together Saturday night- we repaired things for the most part- but I was still a little annoyed because I was feeling underappreciated.  Yes- please get out your teeny tiny violin and play me a melancholy tune…..the underappreciated Mom……

But this brings us to Sunday morning.  Normally, I have things organized and ready to go- gym clothes out, outfit planned, blog pre written, tickets printed for whatever I’m doing…..but this Sunday, yesterday, I didn’t have any of those things done.

Why?

Because on Saturday, in the time I’d allotted to prepping, I was reading the new Dan Brown book.  Yes- I was reading in unplanned reading time…….

I know.

I’m a horrible person.

Shame on me.

So Sunday morning I was behind, because along with not having anything prepared, I also woke up late……

But then, my ungrateful daughter stepped in.  She walked the dog.  She printed out my tickets for me (of course, when you’re running late is the morning that it takes 40 minutes to print out 1 ticket, and remember I bought 2 tickets…..).  She helped me organize my clothes and toiletries because I was changing at the gym.  She filled my water bottle and got me an apple.   And she realized that I would not be allowed to bring my gym bag into the theater because of security checks, so she arranged to get my gym bag before I went off on my outing, as well as bringing me the freshly printed tickets.  Right, the ungrateful daughter.

So what did I learn?

  1. I do not do well if I’m unprepared
  2. Always print out tickets as soon as you buy them
  3. Dan Brown books are really engrossing even if I don’t understand them 80% of the time
  4. We all need a little help sometimes
  5. I need to bug my friend S2 about plans a lot sooner (the funny thing is, I have another good friend S1 and she is just like me- I’m seeing her Friday night, and we already know when and where and have confirmed with our other friends)
  6. Even ungrateful daughters can be a life saver
  7. I need to take deep, relaxing , meditative breaths…….

Peace and love to all!!

 

42 thoughts on “Underappreciated”

  3. The yin and yang of mother/daughter relationships! Also, even though I’m a laid back soul, if I’m doing something for the day with a friend I want as many of the details worked out ahead of time as possible. This last minute deciding on the day stuff bugs me. FWIW. In case you care…

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  6. The one advantage of not being a planner is you’re never terribly anxious when things don’t go as planned. I would drive you crazy as a friend because I enjoying winging it as much as possible. But we need planners in this world or nothing would ever get accomplished.

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    1. I love my non planner friends…..but….it was the whole timing issue….when she got back to me it was when I was out, I knew I was getting home after 9, I knew I was busy on Saturday….sometimes you need to know your personality and work with it!! And we would totally be friends cause your smart and funny!!

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      1. I get it. I like to have a rough idea of what I’m doing, and can’t stand when I’m in limbo. I think people just need to be honest with each other: i.e., are we getting together or not?

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  11. This entry opened up the floodgates and I remembered all the days I grumbled and felt completely under appreciated and like the perennial family doormat. But when she moved away to college, I craved for those “low” days because it meant she was still around and I could look forward to a cuddle later in the day. Now I have to wait months in-between cuddles. It’s all a matter of looking at things as passing storms.

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  14. Most of us are cranky when we’re tired…
    My take-away from this is: your girl did not grow up in a vacuum. Her stepping in to help you comes from her lifetime of watching and learning from you. Isn’t that lovely!?!

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  17. I was smiling all the way through this, because it reminds me so much of and also of my own daughter: demanding and ungrateful one minute, helpful and loving the next. What can I say? Life is messy sometimes, despite our best efforts.

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  18. OMG!! that was… WOW…. ahhh.. hilarious is what I could come up with. but it was more than that. “Because on Saturday, in the time I’d allotted to prepping, I was reading the new Dan Brown book. Yes- I was reading in unplanned reading time…….” hehehe!!! been there done that…not Dan Brown though…
    You do a lot on your weekends…Inspiration!!!

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