Welcome to my new blog, where I write a post about something, and then follow it up for the next 3 months……
Yesterday I wrote about opinions, and I showed you what my friend said to her daughter about sororities. While I was reading the comments, I realized that I never said how I actually gave an opinion. So this is what you get……
I give my opinions very freely- no one asks for them. I sit here, on soapbox, aka the dining room chair, and I spew between 500 and 1000 words on any given topic. I have lots of thoughts and theories about just about everything. I am a classic over thinker and analyzer- (gee- you thought that degree in English Literature wasn’t worth anything…..this is what it gets you…..a portal to share your thoughts with everyone) I pick and choose a topic based on what is happening in my life, I choose a side, and I’m off………
But…..
What about when someone actually asks me for advice, for my opinion? What do I really do?
Well- that depends on who is asking, and what is the nature and scope of the advice.
Last week I got a text from my daughter- “Should I apply for this?” (it was for a committee for school). My first question was, “Do you have the time?”. Then I told her to tell me the Pros and Cons. ( You know I love a list.)
And that’s how I give my opinion when someone asks. I put the ball back in their court. I ask them to say what is good and bad about the decision, and then I ask them questions based on what they say. After listening to the evidence, I may or may not weigh in. I know- shocking- I actually DON’T give my opinion. I didn’t realize this until a reader commented about all the downsides of sorority life- then it hit me- I try to get people to see the upside and downside of any issue. I would have asked questions that would lead the person to explore all facets of the issue. If it’s my daughter asking, I try to make it a teachable moment- learning how to make a decision. But this is only when I’M ASKED.
Conversely, I will often give my opinion when I’M NOT ASKED. This is butting in mode……I can’t help myself. Someone says/writes something- I chime in. In my mind, I’m doing community service- I’m illuminating points that someone might not see. See- I’m really being a good person- jut trying to help out. I’m good that way……What- you don’t think I’m good that way?!?!
To be clear though, if someone said “Should I play Russian Roulette?” I’m probably going to say no, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I know- this is where butting in with an opinion gets dicey- when someone has a really well thought out plan…..
And, lest I forget, if my Husband asks for my opinion, I just tell him what to do. He has learned that I am always right. Perhaps that is good advice for us all. I am always right……
It’s a really good job we are not married because I am always right! I have my wife’s full permission to say that.
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I believe anyone who reads my blog is always right…..
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Now that is a really sensible, and diplomatic, statement!
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😀
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How very Socratic of you! A lot of 12 step recovery works that way, too. My sponsor asks me questions that make me look inside myself for the answers, and it’s very effective.
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I’m only halfway good at it though…….
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Isn’t it funny how some people love to give unsolicited opinions and advice… 🙂 I sometimes do, and I sometimes don’t. When I don’t, I turn to my blog and unleash there. Win win!*
*sort of… lol
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Oh…blogging is the ultimate! Why I’m loving it!!
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Me too, Iand I guess I can be rather opinionated too but my hubby is worse-he shares his opinion on everything, solicited or not! 🙂
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I like people with opinions!
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Love this! Although I must say the older I get the more opinions I have. Just ask me!
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I like people with strong opinions!
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lol, your husband has learned the wisdom of “happy wife happy life” 🙂
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And that I’m smarter
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I join with you as an over achiever English Literature major.
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Yay team!
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The over thinker analyser sounds like me.
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It’s a blessing and a curse
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Yes it is.
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lol I wished I’d have known giving my opinion counted as community service…I would’ve added this to my Xmas after Xmas list long ago 😉
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You can add it next year!!
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lol
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Good plan!
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I keep telling people I’m always right, but sadly, that’s an opinion that seems to be held only by me.
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I firmly believe if you read my blog you are always right!
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😂😂 love this!
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Thanks!
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