Welcome to my new blog, where I write a post about something, and then follow it up for the next 3 months……

Yesterday I wrote about opinions, and I showed you what my friend said to her daughter about sororities.  While I was reading the comments, I realized that I never said how I actually gave an opinion.  So this is what you get……

I give my opinions very freely- no one asks for them.  I sit here, on soapbox, aka the dining room chair, and I spew between 500 and 1000 words on any given topic.  I have lots of thoughts and theories about just about everything.  I am a classic over thinker and analyzer- (gee- you thought that degree in English Literature wasn’t worth anything…..this is what it gets you…..a portal to share your thoughts with everyone)  I pick and choose a topic based on what is happening in my life, I choose a side, and I’m off………

But…..

What about when someone actually asks me for advice, for my opinion?  What do I really do?

Well- that depends on who is asking, and what is the nature and scope of the advice.

Last week I got a text from my daughter- “Should I apply for this?” (it was for a committee for school).  My first question was, “Do you have the time?”.  Then I told her to tell me the Pros and Cons. ( You know I love a list.)

And that’s how I give my opinion when someone asks.  I put the ball back in their court.  I ask them to say what is good and bad about the decision, and then I ask them questions based on what they say.  After listening to the evidence, I may or may not weigh in.  I know- shocking- I actually DON’T give my opinion.  I  didn’t realize this until a reader commented about all the downsides of sorority life- then it hit me- I try to get people to see the upside and downside of any issue.   I would have asked questions that would lead the person to explore all facets of the issue.  If it’s my daughter asking, I try to make it a teachable moment- learning how to make a decision.  But this is only when I’M ASKED.

Conversely, I will often give my opinion when I’M NOT ASKED.  This is butting in mode……I can’t help myself.  Someone says/writes something- I chime in.  In my mind, I’m doing community service- I’m illuminating points that someone might not see.  See- I’m really being a good person- jut trying to help out.  I’m good that way……What- you don’t think I’m good that way?!?!

To be clear though, if someone said “Should I play Russian Roulette?” I’m probably going to say no, I don’t think that’s a good idea.  I know- this is where butting in with an opinion gets dicey- when someone has a really well thought out plan…..

And, lest I forget, if my Husband asks for my opinion, I just tell him what to do.  He has learned that I am always right. Perhaps that is good advice for us all.  I am always right……

27 thoughts on “Here’s My Opinion”

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