When my daughter got wind of yesterday’s topic- there was a bit of eye rolling. “Really? You don’t think you have expectations of me?” Yes- she’s right, I’m wrong. I said it. While I don’t expect her to stay in New York, get married or have children, I do expect the following.
- Self-confidence. Don’t confuse this with cockiness. I mean, when she wakes up in the morning she knows she has value and worth as a person. She has to own who she is- quirks and all
- Empathy. I want her to understand that some people have not been as fortunate as others. And everyone has some sort of cross to bare
- Self- respect. To not let others treat her with disrespect
- Respect- to always treat others with respect, not to degrade another person, or animal, or belief system
- Take care of health and body- sleep, eat properly and drink water. Exercise. Listen to the cues your body is sending.
- Take care of your emotional health. Understand your emotions and deal with them in a healthy manner
- Lead a balanced life- I know I’m skating on thin ice with this one. My daughter likes to study. She also has a bunch of extracurricular clubs, and community service and a tutoring job. She can sometimes forget about socializing. I make her see her friends in a social setting for at least a few hours a week. I ask her if two hours at brunch or shopping at Urban Outfitters will seriously screw up the space time continuum. I do not do this at the end of a marking period though. I respect that she has 72 hours worth of work to fit into a 24 hour time span.
- Think about the consequences of an action before she carries it out, and take responsibility of that action if it goes awry. I may or may not bail her out
- Don’t cheat.
- Don’t take things that are not hers
- Take responsibility for her bedroom. Help with household chores. Help take care of the pets
- If their is a problem with a teacher, coach, boss, whatever, she handle the situation herself. I’ll always be there to back her up, but if she thinks something isn’t fair or right, it’s her battle to fight.
- Be a Met fan. There is no rooting for another baseball team if you live under this roof.
The following are more hopes than expectations:
- Try not to hurt other people. I realize that sometimes you can’t help this. But don’t hurt others intentionally.
- Surround herself with positive people that encourage and motivate, and don’t take advantage of her
- Try her best at everything she does. That does not mean being the best, or winning or getting A’s.
And there you have it……