I went to a funeral the other day. As I was getting dressed, I came to a realization: I wear the same dresses to funerals as I do to weddings- I just accessorize differently. For the record, I also wear these dresses to semi-formal events, and even to dinner. So…..what does this say about me?
- I have reached a new milestone in minimalism. Living in a tiny space with few closets has made me more aware of purchasing and holding on to things. I’ve realized that there are very few physical things that make me truly happy. To quote Marie Kondo- “If you don’t love it, toss it.”
- I need to shop more. Here’s the thing- I don’t like to shop. This is a sharp turn around from my youth, when my friends joked that I chose my college because of proximity to an upscale shopping mall.
- I go to very few weddings. I’m at the age where my friends are mostly married, and the ones getting married are opting for very casual weddings. My friends children are mostly at an age where they are thinking marriage, or are still in school. And frankly, I think less people are choosing marriage.
- I go to very few funerals. Death rituals are becoming less formal- some of my friends parents are opting for luncheons and memorial services instead of wakes, Shiva’s and the like.
- I no longer feel the need to have event specific clothing. True dat. I buy a new black dress every year, and I get rid of one. (that’s my family rule- if you buy something new you must get rid of an item. I do the same at holiday time. Daughter must donate the same number of items that are on her wish list) For a wedding the dress with be worn with fancier shoes, glitzy faux jewels, and elaborate make-up. Funeral, toss a jacket over the top, low pumps and simple jewels…..you get the idea. It makes my life less complex- there are enough things to stress over- dressing should not be one of them.
- I think of marriage and death as the same thing. Hmmmm- I’ve got to think about this…..
- I no longer feel the need to dress sexy at certain events. There were times when I would go to a cocktail party, or wedding, and I would wear a little slinky dress. This was as recent as 5 years ago. And one day I realized- who am I trying to impress? I’m much more comfortable in a simple dress that covers my rear, and does not require me to wear a strapless bra. If I’m comfortable, I’m happy. Happy wins. If you want to think that I’ve succumbed to age- that’s fine. I’m also at the age where I don’t care what people think. When it comes to feeling sexy- I’ve learned that sexy is fueled by the brain- if you don’t think you are sexy, high heels, short skirts, cleavage are just not going to cut it. If the only thing that makes you feel hot is men staring at you- guess what? You’re not hot. You’re just a Barbie doll. Trust me- I’m still pretty sexy……
So- long live my little black dress- It worked for Audrey Hepburn- I think it can work for me.