I ran into a neighbor the other evening.  The conversation went something like this:

Me:  Hey.  All ready for college?

Young Woman:  Just about.  Can’t Wait.

Me:  When do you leave?

Young Woman: A few weeks.

Me:  Great.  Good luck.  What’s a recent high school graduate up to this evening?

Young Woman:  Tinder date.

Me:  Ohhhh…..sounds fun….have a good time???

And my voice trailed off into the sunset….

I remember when this girl was born.  She went to the same elementary as my daughter.  She just graduated from the same high school my kid attends.  I knew her.  I watched her grow up.  And she’s on a tinder date.

I feel old.

I realize people date.  I realize people use tinder.  I didn’t realize young woman that I remember running around the lobby would use tinder.

I feel like a prude.  I didn’t think I was a prude.  I thought I had a pretty healthy appreciation of sex.  I thought I was pretty open and realistic about what actually happens in life.  But I think I’d rather be an ostrich.  I’d rather have my head buried deep in the sand.  Because I don’t want to think about any kid I know, male, female or indifferent going on tinder dates.

If my daughter were to go on a tinder date, I would want to know.  Well- not really, obviously I want ostrich mode.- but I would want her to trust me enough to tell me what she was doing.  I would make sure she was as prepared as possible- has what she needs physically and mentally.

But I would not be happy about it.  I don’t think I can ever prepare myself enough for my daughter to go on a tinder date.  There is no “Dummies Guide to your Child going on Tinder dates.”  (But I guess that’s a book idea right there……)

I’m a fraud.  I’ve always said I would support my daughter no matter what she does.  But as of this moment- if she comes to me in 2 1/2 years and tells me she’s going on a tinder date- I don’t know what I would actually do.  Other than cry.  And bang my head against the wall.  And you  know, alienate her forever, and make sure she doesn’t trust me or ever tell me anything else again.

I know I’m jumping the gun, that this may  never happen.  But us control freaks- we always like to anticipate everything….

But for now, I’m- I going to borrow a line from Mojo, and just go LA LA LA LA LA I’m covering my ears with my hands……..

54 thoughts on “No- Say it isn’t So…..

  1. Maybe you should turn it around on her in advance, with the hubby’s permission, of course. Scare her now by saying you’re going on a Tinder date, and her father has approved of it. Then come home screaming about how awful it was and that you felt absolutely freaked out the entire time. Maybe she’ll never do it and your problems are over? Well… that problem is over. It might have started a new one where she’s worried about her parents. But that’s better than vice versa, right? 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Yes because people inherently like something new and different. And to be honest, I’ve not ever been on Tinder, so I don’t know what kind of pictures and profiles put up there. I’d be slightly afraid to look. So I have no idea what you’d have to do or dress like… hmm… I sense a post coming from you “my experience creating a fake tinder account”

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Geez, I thought Tinder was just another match-up site but from the comments it is more of a “Quickie-Match” site, eh? Back in my day…the 1970’s, we would just go to the nearest bar with music and shake our bootys….Shake, shake, shake. At least then you could say you were so drunk you didn’t know what you were doing!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My daughter is in her twenties and has tried a number of those online dating sites. I just try to accept that I grew up in a different time, in a different world. Years ago, people placed ads in singles columns in newspapers. I suppose that’s sort of similar to tinder, etc. Generally speaking, I think girls today know to meet their dates in public places and stay there. I hope. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Is there room in the hole for my head? I have senior friends, who are using dating sites and I’m fearful for them also. But, seventeen, what happen to group dating or meeting your best friends, brother, cousin? I’m just saying, I hope her parents are aware of her dating lifestyle.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I wasn’t sure what a tinder date was either, thinking maybe just an internet dating site? Which I know has become a common way to meet people, although it seems odd to me. But if it’s just a site to arrange “one-night stands” then, yeah, I’d react the same way you did! And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with talking to your daughter about the difference between random sex with virtual strangers, and sex with someone you know well and care deeply for.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Oh, I am with you La La La La! My mind just goes to the dark side and all the bad things that could go wrong. I have gone on a dating site with no good results. I just want to meet someone in person, get a vibe, and go from there. I think we all just have to get off our phones and computers and get outside be with people.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I was listening to a programme this morning on BBC Radio 4, a conventionally straight laced, maybe a little old fashioned, station.

    The discussion was about changes in attitudes to sex and relationships throughout the generations. There was a 70 plus lady who had become pregnant at 17 and was immediately expelled from school. A 40’s man who had been “in a long term relationship” with a partner, and had children, then separated after 12 years. He had gone on to have casual sex with nearly 2,000 partners. The third person was a young lady who used Tinder and thought it was standard practice nowadays that girls wanted to lose their virginity before the age of 16. First date sex, no problem. Yuk.

    All together now, ears covered:


    Liked by 1 person

  8. When my baby sister (who I also refer to as my first child) came to me with the ‘a boy likes me and I like him’ talk, I literally wanted to lock her in the wardrobe then pay for the boy whoever he is to be alienated from the earth. No matter how much I told myself I would be prepared for it, I wasn’t.

    Liked by 1 person

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