The Past……

I owe someone a return text.  Since May.  This is not normal for me- I break into hives if I go a few hours before I can respond to a WordPress  comment on my blog.  I always write back as soon as possible.  So why has this text gone unanswered for months?

R- Happy Birthday

Me- Thank you!!!!!!!!!!

R- Are you ever going to talk to me again?


First off- here’s the spoiler- it will be abundantly clear that this is NOT the person I spoke of yesterday.  But we will take another trip down memory lane……

1980/81:  I kind of dated a guy in High School.  I like him well enough, but it wasn’t an earth shattering attachment.  We never had sex.  We “broke up” once because he told me he was taking someone else to our Spring Formal.  The problem was, I really didn’t care.

1982 and beyond- We don’t see nor speak to one another.  I don’t think I thought about him for even a nanosecond.

2009- R finds me on Facebook.

2009-2014- R calls me once, maybe twice a year.  He talks incessantly about his golf game.  I don’t know anything about golf.  I don’t know anything about golf because I don’t like golf,  and I don’t care about golf. Unless it’s mini- because I love mini golf.  But did you ever listen to a golfer wax poetic about courses they play?  When you don’t know a green from a sand trap?

2014- Though he has switched to texting me his golf stories (whew- now I really don’t have to pretend to be interested) he throws in a curve….

R- You were the one that got away.  You were the great love of my life.  I’m sorry I treated you so poorly.

Me- Thanks for telling me that.  I appreciate your candor and honesty.  It’s ok- I think I got over our relationship awhile ago.  

R- Didn’t you feel the same way?  Wasn’t I the love of your life?

Me- I’m sorry.  I had fun with you back in High School, but that was it.  You are a nice memory.

2015- He texts, now about 4 times a year, but the texts have a different tone.  He now regales me stories from our past- things we did together.  He remembers outfits that I wore.  He talks about “our song”.  I didn’t remember the outfits he was talking about, and I apparently wore them.  And I don’t remember having a song.  Truly.  And up until 50 I had an amazing memory- like, I didn’t forget anything ever.

Early 2016

Me- I’m sorry.  I didn’t love you then.  I have no feelings for you now except for a sweet fondness of our past experiences.  You’re nice, but if you want to keep talking, it needs to be something more relevant to today.  I can’t keep talking about memories that I don’t quite remember.  While I appreciate your honesty about your past feelings, and how you felt you wronged me, these things are just not something I need to hear anymore.  I’m sorry if this hurts you but I need to repay your honesty with my own.

And he stopped texting.  Except on my Birthday in 2016.  And my birthday this year.  But this year he wanted to know if I would speak to him again.  I guess silence is a pretty good answer.

Now- here’s the thing.  If you feel the need to tell someone that you wronged them, that they were the one that got away, I think you should.  Sometimes that makes you feel better as a person.  I’m OK with the text confessional.  But- because you know there is a giant BUT here- really think about your motivation.  Why do you feel the need to bring up past memories?  Is it kindness, perhaps a sense of closure?  Do you just want to say, see how someone is doing? Or do you have ulterior motives?  Do you think it will be the start of a new relationship?  Before you reach out to an ex, think about what your expectations are.

And….remember….they might not have felt the same way about you.  Their vision of the past might be totally different from yours.  They might not remember events the same way you do.  They might not remember that you had a “song”.  You need to be able to accept that with grace and dignity.

I will probably not text him in the future.  I don’t think I have anything left to say about our shared past.  The past is a nice place to visit, but I don’t want to live there.

The following did not appear in the original post, but after reading a comment, I realized I must include this:

I felt horrible about saying these things to R.  I feel horrible about not responding.  But I felt that brutal honesty was necessary in order for him to get on with his life.


Not So Over It

The other day I hijacked responded to a comment on someone else’s blog- because I don’t only give my opinion on my blog, but on other blogs as well.  The post was about how we should choose to be happy, and work towards that- a sentiment I highly endorse.  A reader commented “How do I get over my ex boyfriend” (which really didn’t correspond to the blog, but I felt compelled to butt in)  I responded, “You may never get over your ex.”

You may never get over an ex.

Now- what does this mean?

Some people enter your life, your brain, your soul.  They become a piece of you- their essence is tattooed onto your heart.

Now this is something coming from a non-romantic curmudgeon like me.  First, you find out I believe in love at first sight.   Now I think you might not get over an ex.  Next thing, I’ll be telling you I believe in soul mates……Has the world stopped spinning?

No.  I’m still pretty cynical about all things love.  That was the fault of the horrible first husband.  He sort of crushed my spirit, but he doesn’t remain in my heart, or anyplace else in my life.  And he is not the person I never got over- trust me- I got over the love part with ex-h pretty quickly.  Like while we were still married quickly…..

But now to the pesky person still lodged in my soul.

Cue the harp music……I met a guy in college.  I fell in love- my first love.  I was young and stupid- my Mother had way too much control over me.  You know how people ask, if you could have a redo in life, when would that be?  I don’t believe in do-overs, I think everything happens for a reason and makes you the person you are.  Every single action in my life led me to my daughter.   I’m more than OK with my life- it’s pretty damn good.  But- if you pressed me- I would tell you that I would like to take another stab at 1984- Big Brother or not….

Some people make a lasting impression.  I have looked for the qualities I loved about this person in every man I dated.  If someone liked Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I would go out with them.  This made for a lot of interesting experiences, but I was never able to replicate that feeling I had with “B”.  And the missing piece of my heart remained lost.

So what do you do?  What did I do?

I just got on with my life.  I dated, had sex, married a crappy guy, divorced, remarried, had a kid.  I worked, worked harder, got promoted, had a career.  I played tennis, met some new friends, went to movies….I got on with my life.  I continue to have a full and rich life- good times and bad.  Because I couldn’t wallow around in misery forever.  I didn’t want to be sitting in a dusty house wearing  a wedding dress- I had great expectations……And I filled them.

However, 30 years later, I have never filled that little hole in my heart.  And while I don’t think about him every day, sometimes, he creeps into my thoughts.  And for a second, I smile.  And maybe I smile because I remember being young, or because life was simpler then.  Maybe it’s because there is something special about first love.  Or maybe it’s because some people are just meant to take a little piece of your heart.  Fade out- cue the Janis Joplin……..


100 Posts! How did that Happen?

Today is Post 100!  I can’t believe that I have written 100 posts!  In honor of this momentous occasion, I am giving you a list.  These are a jumble of my thoughts about this blogging process.

  1. I thought I would be writing about the process of aging.  I realized that I’m not afraid of getting older- and I’m actually not that bothered by it.  I just don’t like the fact that it takes me 20 minutes to stand up.
  2. My writing has gotten better since my early posts- at least I hope so- please tell me I’m a better writer now
  3. I can be funny, clever, thought provoking, sad, angry and reflective- often in the same post.  I hope my writing elicits some sort of emotion.  And laughing at me is perfectly fine…I live with a teenager- I’m used to it
  4. I’m making good strides on my novel.  This is thanks to a fellow blogger.  I was telling him the problems I was having telling my story, and he said “Dumbass” (Ok- he didn’t say that- but I know he was thinking it) you’re an organized person.  Write and org chart for what each chapter of the novel should cover.  Then write the scenes.”
  5. I heard my daughter say to my husband- “We have to dial down the stupid.  Everything we do could be a blog”  So remember, when I tell you a story about them- they have dialed down the stupid……take that for what it’s worth
  6. I have met some amazing people through the blogging process.  It amazes me that I have found kindred spirits from all over the world, and from 20 blocks away.  I am a better person for crossing paths with all of you.  Ok- I was pretty low on the humanity scale before, so don’t be too proud……
  7. Most stories are still person vs person, person vs nature and person vs themselves.  But we all manage to tell our stories in different and unique ways.  Except for all the new books I’ve read that retell Jane Austen books.  It’s time to give those a rest.
  8. I love and look forward to writing every day.  No joke, no sarcasm.  This is a highlight of my day.
  9. What is not a highlight of my day is my present relationship with WordPress.  WP keeps telling me its my fault.  I think we share the blame….but I’m easy going like that.
  10. I love reading all your blogs!  Each and every one of you inspire me every day, with your courage, strength, wit, humor, creativity….I could go on.  Your spirit and attitude is contagious. All your posts make me think, and expand my mind.  This is what keeps us young.  This is what keeps us living.
  11. I know I play fast and loose with punctuation and grammar.  I don’t care.  I’m so structured in every thing else I do.  This is my space to safely push the boundaries.

I could probably go on, but need to leave something for the 200 postaversary.

Thanks for reading me!  I truly appreciate it, and all the wonderful comments and feedback!

Parentingnado 5

A few weeks ago I made some snide comments about Sharknado 5.  Someone commented- “How can they be up to 5?  How does that happen?”  Well- I’ll tell you how it happens, because I managed to do it with my blogs. You do the first blog, and you think- “Ok- this is good.  Maybe I should do another on the same topic.  And you keep getting feedback, and before you know it, you’ve written your 5th parenting blog in a row.  OK- not exactly a row- I did my usual weekend stuff- but- you know- it’s just a lot of parenting- even for me.  So let’s see if I can squeeze out any fresh ideas, or if I jumped the shark…..

My Daughter faced my parenting blogs with wry amusement.  I believe “You’re so full of it” was the exact wording.  So here are a few things my kid said, and I’ll give you my explanations.

You’re gullible to peer pressure.  You’ll read a fashion magazine and say to me, “Ooh- velvet is in.  Should you get something in velvet for the season?”

I admit, I like looking at fashion mags.  I like to see what is in style.  My daughter and I enjoy shopping and coordinating outfits.  Is buying something on trend submitting to peer pressure?  I don’t think it is.  I think it’s fun.  Now- if you say you HAVE to have something because everyone else has it, or you wear something you don’t really like, or something that is not flattering- I think you’ve submitted to peer pressure.  FYI- the little velvet dress she bought last winter got her through 5 outings.

You bought me expensive “name” boots.

Yes I did.  Because they were practical for the cold weather.  Because they are truly high quality and well made.  I had once bought the generic version of these boots and they barely lasted a season.  Hers have lasted 4 years and are still going strong.  And I just didn’t go out and buy them.  She put them on her holiday list, and I bought them as a gift.  I think it’s OK to be a little extravagant on gifts as long as you stick to your overall budget.

Your talks on expectations, hopes and rules contradict one another.

Expectations are traits that can be taught and modeled.  They are behaviors that you are not born with, but are learned behaviors.  These are the things that make someone a functioning member of society.  I include respect and empathy as examples.  Expectations should not change- these are lifelong behavior patterns.

Hopes are things that you hope your child finds valuable, because learning the hard way can be, you know, hard.  One example is that I hope my daughter surrounds herself with good people, I can explain why, but I can’t expect her to listen or do this.  Sometimes a child needs to learn the hard way which people to trust.

Rules are the guidelines you establish for the benefit of your family.  As a parent you are allowed to set rules about curfews, video game usage- really anything that you have a strong feeling about.  These are things that are important to you individually (and by this I mean parents or guardians- I’m not sure best way to phrase this- but lets also say that ALL parents must be on the same page as far as these rules go- Mom saying one thing and Dad saying another is dysfunction at its finest)  Rules are also things that can be reevaluated every year.  My daughters curfew is later now than it was 2 years ago.  She didn’t wheedle the rule change out of me- as she matures I feel she is allowed a bit more freedom.  But every family has their own rules. You can’t change other peoples minds- but you can talk about them on your blog…….

Sometimes you bend the rules

Guilty.  I sometimes bend the rules.  I have a no electronics at the dinner table rule.  When her best friends boyfriend broke up with her, I let my kid keep the phone on the table.  Her friend needed her.  I don’t regret that decision.  But for the most part- I am really consistent.

What about the whole curfew conundrum?

At the beginning of sophomore year, I gave my daughter a curfew that I thought was reasonable.  The first night she was out, I realized that everyone had a curfew later than my daughter.  My daughter did not ask for a later curfew- she accepted what I had said.  But here is the problem:  living in the city, the kids take mass transit, or walk home.  If my kid left before everyone else, she would be making the entire trip home solo.  I extended her curfew, because I didn’t want her traveling completely alone.  It had nothing to do with peer pressure.

So you can decide if I am full of it or not.


Sunday Wrap Up

As the weeks of summer drift by, the pattern of my life changes a bit.  I am working hard to prepare my mindset for the start of what I call my “new year”.  But I managed to fit in a little fun.

I have not been compensated for any of the following.  My choices, my money.  Locations are NYC unless otherwise noted.  Ratings are 0-5.


“Sacred Hearts” Sarah Dunant.  This book was well written, the characters were well developed.  The story was different than other books, and the language was easy to comprehend.  It centers around two women in a convent in Italy during the 16th century.  There is really nothing wrong with this book.  I just didn’t like it.  So how do I give a review?  I’ll give it 4 based on it’s merits, but it’s more for someone who likes historical fiction.  Or 16th century Italian convents.

“The One That Got Away” Melissa Pimental This is a modern retelling of “Persuasion” (Jane Austen)  It is chick lit.  I love chick lit, especially in the summer.  I love anything based on Jane Austen.  But (cause you knew there would be a but here…..) This book is just too trite.  Adjectives are repeated way too often, to the point I want to mail the author a thesaurus.  Though some of the dialogue is witty, it is more often cutesy. 3


“Masterchef” Fox With 9 or 10 competitors left, I have no idea who is going to win.  I have no favorite.  I think they’re all good, but I don’t see anyone being consistent enough yet.  I think they all have highs and lows.  But I love Dino.  He makes me laugh, but I don’t think he’s good enough to win.


Logan Lucky  This is a heist movie.  I know, been there, done that.  Except….Soderbergh directed.  So it’s good.  It’s really good.  Clever and intelligent, well written, well directed, well acted.  Entertaining.  Adam Driver is fast becoming one of my favorite actors.  4.5

The Circle This is the movie based on the book that freaked me out.  The movie isn’t as good as the book- shocking.  The movie had potential to be great- the plot was good, the actors were good.  But they screwed up telling the story.  Bad adaptation choices.  3


Eclipse.  I know this was generally underreported, but there was an eclipse last week.  Right?  I know- can you believe you missed it?  I was lucky enough to catch a sidebar about it, so I went to the park to watch.  In NYC, we had 71% coverage.  I thought this was so amazing.  Truly mind blowing.  But what was also great was that for 3 minutes, we were all doing the same thing- looking up at the sky.  People shared their eclipse glasses so that everyone got a little peak of history.  My daughter and I made an old school cereal box viewer.  We were so excited that it actually worked! 5

Josiah McElheny Prismatic Park – Art exhibit- Madison Square Park.  This exhibit consists of 3 large wooden/glass sculptures.  Are they called sculptures if they are wood and glass?  I don’t know if that’s the right word, but I’m going with it.  These works remind me of the game Connect Four.  It’s nice, cause they’re in the park, but I don’t see any reason to run to see them.  3.5

US Open Qualifying Matches  The week before the US Tennis Open begins, players compete in qualifiers- players who have good records, but not good enough to get an invite to the Open.  If you happen to be in New York, and you like tennis, this is a must do.  First off- free.  Secondly- great tennis.  And you just might see a future winner of a tournament- a future star.  We watched a match with the young woman who won Wimbledon Juniors this year. 4.8


District If you need to be around East 94th Street and you want a simple meal, this place is fine.  Burgers, salads, entrees.  Everything about this place is fine.  But unless you are around 94th street, there is no reason to go out of your way to go to this place.  You can get the same food at about 1000 other locations in NYC. 4

Frank This place is old school Italian.  Lots of red sauce.  Lots of pasta.  Lots of bread.  Cozy atmosphere (this place is tiny) Very large wine list.  And the food is good, but they’re not reinventing the wheel.  There is not a thing on the menu I can’t replicate at home.  But Husband wanted to go there- so we went.  And you will get a very good meal. 4.3

Hill Country Fried Chicken Yes- you can actually get really good fried chicken in NYC.  This is a fast casual place, so we get our stuff to go, and eat in the park across the street.  The chicken is delicious.  The sides are delicious.  The pies are ridiculous good (though we didn’t have pie yesterday……) 4.6


Thanks for all the incredibly thought provoking and thoughtful commentary this week!  I love having discussions with all of you!  You make me raise my game, and I love that!  Also- I welcome challenges and disagreement.  That also helps me raise my game.  We don’t have to all agree, but we all need to listen to different thoughts and ideas.  We should always be thinking.

I know I talked about parenting a lot this past week- and alas, I believe you will be treated to more of that this coming week.  I guess I’m on a roll.  As of right now, I also plan a little self reflection, a little bit about families….but as I’ve never actually written the blogs I actually think I’m going to write-  so who knows!!

I still experience WordPress issues.  I find it’s not when I use the website when I’m writing blogs on my computer- but when I use the app on my ipad or phone.  I edited something using the ipad, and it was all sorts of screwed up.  I am also having problems with reader- not all the posts are showing up on my feed, and even though I’m liking things, the like is not always visible.  I’m just a tad frustrated at this point.  I apologize to anyone who seems to be slighted by me.  Also- if it appears I haven’t been reading your blog, shoot me a message.  I noticed that some people I follow have mysteriously disappeared.  My problem is, I don’t remember or know who is on vacation, and I’m notoriously bad at remembering blog names.

On the decluttering- I brought another very large bad to donation center.  Yay me.  And we only purchased 1 non food/hygiene related item this week- and it was a replacement item.  Yay us!  I’m really trying to go down to as few items as possible.

Till tomorrow!




Tell The Darkness to Get Lost Award

Congratulations! You have been given the “Tell the Darkness to Get Lost” Award!
This award was created to celebrate the rock stars who were kicked in the teeth by life and kept going anyway and those who inspired me to do the same. It’s a tribute to the bad ass gem of a human I see in you. Thank you for encouraging me to pick myself back up when I all I want to do is stay down. You remind me to keep the faith, to keep going, and to never give in to the darkness. Your light brightens my world and gives me strength to tell the darkness to get lost. I celebrate you, I thank you, and I adore you.

This award was presented to me by the most amazing Joanna  Joanna is my blog crush.  She manages to write an outstanding blog every single time she posts.  Her blogs are honest, clever, and heartfelt, whether she is being funny or if she is exposing parts of her life that are sensitive.   She is both thought provoking, and has the ability to make me feel varied emotions.  These are the highest compliments I can pay someone.  We joke that she is “young me” because I remind her of herself, but she is truly a person whom I aspire to be like.  Please check out her blog!
Rules for accepting the award:
1. To me, awards and rules shouldn’t be paired together. It’s like a great book and a forced book report. It goes from fun reading to work. So these are suggestions and ideas. You do what you feel inspired to do. If you change it wildly, that’s awesome! As I said before, you’re a bad ass. I would love to see what coolness you instill in this, but this whole thing is an optional gig. You’re a bad ass no matter what.
2. Share one thing about you that is funny, interesting, or unique. Ideally tell something that you haven’t shared before, but again, it’s your call.
3. You may display the award or not. It’s your blog, so I’m not going to dictate website aesthetics.
4. You may nominate 5 or more or less other bad asses whom you believe deserve this award. I don’t know how many I listed below, but I wanted to include countless more. We all feel inspired by others and sometimes it’s beautiful to tell them how much their words have helped you when you needed it most.
5. Tell those people who you have tagged why they matter even if it’s just a word. Kindness, bravery, resilience, laughter, quirkiness. Whatever comes to mind. Just tell them why you thought of them when you decided to share this with them.
6. Know how much I genuinely appreciate you. You matter. This world is infinitely better because you are in it.

I feel like I have shared a lot of the different or unique personality quirks that I have, but here’s one that might be odd coming from me.  I believe in love at first sight.  I consider myself a practical, logical person, so this is sort of an anomaly.

I nominate the following:  Honesty.  Beautiful writing.  Thought provoking.  Amazing person.  Amazing writer.  Amazing drive and determination.  Has been instrumental in inspiring me and helping me find my voice

.  Thoughtful writing. Truly thinks things out. I don’t think Jim does awards, but he makes me laugh every day.  And think.  The most optimistic, inspiring person.  She always makes me smile, and I always feel a little better after reading her.

There are many blogs I would love to honor, but I think I have 1 award left, and I don’t want to inundate anyone!

As always- participate if you want.  No harm no foul if you don’t!

Oh No- Another Parenting Blog

When I wrote out my blogtable for this week, my intention was 1 parenting article.  One.  And then all of a sudden I had 3.  Three.  And yesterday afternoon, I started jotting down ideas for today- I was going to talk about flirting.  And then, I read a blog (great parenting blog FYI) and I scrapped flirting and exchanged it for parenting.  Sorry.

The blog yesterday spoke about how parents in certain communities are signing pledges to the effect that they hold off buying their children smartphones until the kids are in 8th grade.  The reason for the written pledge is that some parents are unable to say “no” to their kids if everyone else has something.  IE- if one kid has a smartphone, all kids have smartphones.

So what do you think I think about this?

Personally- my daughter got her first phone when she was in 5th grade, and began walking to school by herself.  To be clear, it was not a smart phone, but an old school flip phone. At a little league game, a parent said to me, “Oh- my daughter would never accept a flip phone.”  To which I replied “If my daughter doesn’t like the phone I got her, she has the option not to have a phone.”  And I sounded a lot snippier in person.  A lot snippier.

My daughter and I spend a lot of quality time together- we went out last night and had a great time.  We laughed, we bonded, we had fun. We are friendly, but I am not her friend.  I am her parent.  When a child is under the age of 18, you need to be a parent, not a friend.

Distinction?  A parent has the ability to make rules, and a child has the obligation to follow the rules.  A parent has the ability to say “NO”.  A parent doesn’t care if the child “hates” them (there’s actually a quote that says if your child never says “I hate you” you aren’t doing your job as a parent).

But parents don’t want their child to hate them.  They want to be liked.

Big mistake.

Let’s take the initial example that set me off on this rampage.  Signing a pledge because you don’t want to say “NO” to your child, simply because “everyone else is doing it.”

Gee- great way to teach your kids about peer pressure.  Leading by example.  Modeling behavior so your kids follow it.

If an adult does not have the ability to stand up to peer pressure, how can we expect a child to stand up to peer pressure?

Don’t we always tell our children not to do things they know are not right just because everyone else is?

So, the theory behind this pledge weakens our stance as  parents.  It decreases the value of our words.  We tell our kids not to submit to peer pressure, yet we admit that we submit to it. (have I driven this point home yet?)

You sign this pledge when the kids are, lets just say, 10 years old.  You haven’t even gotten to the puberty, adolescence, teen age rebellion yet.  They haven’t begun to test the boundaries yet.  And they will.  And it will be about issues much tougher than smart phones.  Yet, you’re done.  Because your kid knows that you can’t say “no”.  Your kid knows that you want to be liked.  The cart begins pulling the horse.



What did you expect….

  • When my daughter got wind of yesterday’s topic- there was a bit of eye rolling.  “Really?  You don’t think you have expectations of me?”  Yes- she’s right, I’m wrong.  I said it.  While I don’t expect her to stay in New York, get married or have children, I do expect the following.
  • Self-confidence.  Don’t confuse this with cockiness.  I mean, when she wakes up in the morning she knows she has value and worth as a person.  She has to own who she is- quirks and all
  • Empathy.  I want her to understand that some people have not been as fortunate as others.  And everyone has some sort of cross to bare
  • Self- respect.  To not let others treat her with disrespect
  • Respect- to always treat others with respect, not to degrade another person, or animal, or belief system
  • Take care of health and body- sleep, eat properly and drink water.  Exercise.  Listen to the cues your body is sending.
  • Take care of your emotional health.  Understand your emotions and deal with them in a healthy manner
  • Lead a balanced life- I know I’m skating on thin ice with this one.  My daughter likes to study.  She also has a bunch of extracurricular clubs, and community service and a tutoring job.  She can sometimes forget about socializing.  I make her see her friends in a social setting for at least a few hours a week.  I ask her if two hours at brunch or shopping at Urban Outfitters will seriously screw up the space time continuum.  I do not do this at the end of a marking period though.  I respect that she has 72 hours worth of work to fit into a 24 hour time span.
  • Think about the consequences of an action before she carries it out, and take responsibility of that action if it goes awry.  I may or may not bail her out
  • Don’t cheat.
  • Don’t take things that are not hers
  • Take responsibility for her bedroom.  Help with household chores.  Help take care of the pets
  • If their is a problem with a teacher, coach, boss, whatever, she handle the situation herself.  I’ll always be there to back her up, but if she thinks something isn’t fair or right, it’s her battle to fight.
  • Be a Met fan.  There is no rooting for another baseball team if you live under this roof.
  • The following are more hopes than expectations:
  • Try not to hurt other people.  I realize that sometimes you can’t help this.  But don’t hurt others intentionally.
  • Surround herself with positive people that encourage and motivate, and don’t take advantage of her
  • Try her best at everything she does.  That does not mean being the best, or winning or getting A’s.
  • And there you have it……

ps- WordPress was not my friend today.  I apologize if you already saw this post.  There were some funky publishing issues that I sort of understand, but don’t really understand!  Thanks!