Posted on by LA · 25 Comments

Versatile Blogger Award

I would like to thank http://caterpillars2butterfliesblog.wordpress.com/ for nominating me for this award!  I recently found her blog, and it is truly a great read.  She is honest, heart felt and most of all human!  Please check out her blog!

 

RULES OF THE VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD:
1.) Thank the bloggers who nominated you and share their links.
2.) Nominate at least 10 bloggers for the award and provide links to their blogs.
3.) Also inform them about their nomination.
4.) Reveal 7 facts about yourself that your readers may not know

Here are my 7 possibly unknown facts:

  1. I swam with sharks off of Bora Bora.  The sharks were not in cages and I was scared to death until I got into the water and saw them.
  2. I worked on the fixed income trading floor of a large brokerage house way longer than I should have
  3. I love all things flavored with apricot, but I do not like apricots as a fruit
  4. I often walk around with sunglasses, umbrella and large, thin blanket like scarf- I have a thing against cold, wet and too sunny
  5. I wear progressive contact lenses, so my vision is pretty shaky on both ends
  6. I have a sister who is 7 years younger than me and lives across the country
  7. I love tea and belong to a tea society

 

I nominate the following 10 people:

https://www.thisismytruthnow.com/

http://desertmissus.wordpress.com/

http://thefeatheredrose.com/

http://authentically50.wordpress.com/

Home

http://momentumofjoy.wordpress.com/

http://thatsoulshit.wordpress.com/

http://thenicelifeblog.wordpress.com/

http://makingpeacewiththewrongsideof40.wordpress.com/

http://bleuwater.wordpress.com/

 

AS ALWAYS- NO WORRIES IF YOU DON’T WANT TO PARTICIPATE; THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN NOT AN OBLIGATION!

 

 

 

 

Posted on by LA · 18 Comments

Bikram Spinning

Bikram:  Yoga done in a really, really hot room

Spinning: Indoor exercise class, involving stationary bike with control panel similar to one found in NASA style equipment, very loud music and overly enthusiastic instructor

Bikram Spinning:  Spin class done in small room with no air conditioning

I went to a Bikram spin class yesterday.  Not intentionally, I may add.  I’d signed up (because you need to sign up in advance to exercise- you can’t just show up with sneakers and a can-do attitude)  and when I got to the gym, I found out the air conditioning in the spin room was totally busted.  A 20×20 room, with no openable windows, and 25 bikes.  Oh, and 25 people.  The temperature in the room was 85 degrees.  No lie.  Not exaggerating.  I’d have taken a picture if my phone screen wasn’t fogged up.

I knew the room was this hot.  25 people knew the room was this hot.  Yet we all stayed.  And only 1 person was getting paid.  The rest of us were paying for this privilege.

So why did I stay?

Am I a masochist?  (those of you that know me are not allowed to say yes to this.  I’m making a point, sort of)

No.  I am not a masochist.  I actually like to go to the gym.  I get pleasure from working out, and honestly, if I don’t do some sort of physical activity every day I don’t feel right.  And trust me, I am not a palestrato (Italian word for someone with overly toned body, and absolute devotion to gym workouts)  I am miles away from overly toned, and my body type is more curvy than straight.    I lead a balanced life.  I spend about an hour a day doing formal exercise.  My gym workouts aren’t about achieving an ideal physique.  They are about being healthy- both my body and my mind.  (And yes, I admit, I knew I was going to eat popcorn and pizza later that evening- so it was sort of balancing out the scales of healthy/not so healthy.)

But here’s the thing.  My hour a day at the gym is about the only time I am singularly focused on one thing.  It’s almost a form of meditation.  All I’m thinking about is pedaling, lifting, or moving my feet and arms.  I’m not thinking about my to do list.  I’m not obsessing about tiny details.  I’m not worrying about family or friends or the state of the world-  I’m as close to a blank slate as possible.  And I need this- I need a blank slate.

So for 45 minutes yesterday, I worked through the sweat (anyone who tells you that  women don’t sweat but glow is an idiot)  I cursed out the instructor when she told us to turn it up (meaning increase the resistance- as if you’re going uphill).  I drank more water that I thought possible.  For the first time in my life, my hands kept slipping down  on the handlebars- no towel could help.  But all I thought about was pedaling, breathing, working though it.  Nothing else.  Blank slate.

By the end of class, the temperature in the room was 87 degrees- there wasn’t a dry body in the room.  We looked at each other- survivors- warriors.   and I looked at the control panel of my bike:  CALORIES BURNED- 32.  Good thing I exercise for my mind.

Posted on by LA · 33 Comments

“It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas in July……”

I had a mountain of paperwork to slog through last night- my desk was hidden under piles.  True- the piles were labeled- “to be done- June”, “to be done May”….but these mountains needed to be conquered.  And it was going to be a long time till I even reached base camp.  When life gets like this, I need someone special in my corner.  Who you ask? (I’m assuming you’re riveted and can’t wait to find out……..)

Mindless TV.

I love mindless TV.  My choices are either Big Bang reruns, HGTV, or Hallmark Mystery Channel.  The winner last night was Jessica Fletcher.  I love a town where the population counter keeps going down because someone gets murdered every week.  I like to imagine that Jessica’s house contains about a thousand closets, because did you ever notice that she always has the exact right outfit to wear, no matter what the occasion?  Who knew that the lifestyle of Cabot Cove would have a need for about a dozen ball gowns?  I live in NYC, and I currently have 0 ball gowns hanging out in my closet.  Really- we should have the same stuff- we’re both real/faux writers……

Along with tales of murder and mayhem, Hallmark Mystery offers something else.  Commercials.  Have you ever seen the commercials they play during the shows?  My favorite might be the one that points out that I have crepey neck skin.  I already obsess about my not so flat abs, not so tone arms, laugh lines around my lips, and the bags under my eyes.  I didn’t think about my neck.  I’ve lived my entire life thinking that my neck would stay forever youthful…but no.  It turns out that you can tell how old someone is by counting the lines on their neck.  Good thing there is an international super model there to point this out.

As if the trauma of crepey neck skin isn’t enough- I got another shock last night.  Somehow I have missed that it’s Christmas in July.  It’s not on my holiday calendar that I upload to my phone, iPad and laptop.  So how did this happen?

No really.  Why did this happen?  Why are there ads for sales on Christmas merchandise?

Why are they showing Christmas movies?

It’s July.

You know, where Americans celebrate Independence Day.

Where it’s 3000% humidity in NYC.

It’s taken me years to reconcile hearing Christmas music before Halloween.  Am I just days away from hearing carols on the radio?

To be clear- I am no Scrooge.  I love the time of year between American Thanksgiving and the New Year.  I decorate my apartment.  We trim the tree as we light  Hanukah candles (multi cultural household).  I am down for celebrating every religion, every person- I love the holiday season.  I look forward to the holiday season.  When it is between the end of November and January 1.

Am I being too much of an aspiring curmudgeon?  Am I overthinking this? (cause I never overthink anything, ever)

So I did what we all do when faced with deep thoughts on life:  I googled. I googled  Christmas in July.  You know those moments in life that you instantly regret?  Count this as one of them.

Apparently, people throw Christmas in July parties.  There are Pinterest boards about Christmas in July.  An amusement park is having BOGO to celebrate Christmas in July.

And on that note- all I can say is I’m sorry.  I’ve been a bit pre-occupied.  Your holiday greeting cards are going to be late this year.  I won’t be sending them out until December.

 

 

Posted on by LA · 72 Comments

Failure is an Option

The Daughter is trying out to be a ballperson at the US Open.  (you know- the kid that stands at attention at the side of the net, and gets to hold an umbrella over the head of a ranked player)  The following is a conversation I had with someone regarding this.

Friend: What’s up for today?

Me:  I told daughter that I would go to Queens with her.  She has a callback for ballperson.

Friend:  Didn’t she try out last year?

Me: Yes.  Same thing.  She made it to the second round last year, and she made it to the second round this year.

Friend:  But she didn’t get to be a ballperson last year.

Me: I know.  That’s why she’s trying out again.

Friend:  But she didn’t make it.

Me: I know.

Friend: So why is she trying out again?

Me: She wants to be a ballperson.  The only way to be a ballperson is to try out.

Friend:  Wasn’t she devastated last year when she didn’t make it?

Me:  Disappointed?  Yes.  Annoyed at herself? Yes.  Figure out what she could have done better?  Yes.  Devastated?  No.

Friend:  Why are you letting her try out again?  What if she doesn’t make it again?  She will feel so bad about herself.  She will have failed twice.

Me:  OMG you’re so right.  A hole will form in the earth and she will get swallowed up.  She will take to her bed and start wearing a wedding dress because of the man that left her at the alter.  She will put a curse on all those that make ballperson……

OK- you got me.  I really didn’t say that.  But I thought something along those lines.  My actual reply was:

Me:  Do you think the humidity is going to break?

Because how else do you answer that?

Here’s the cold, hard facts: (opinion- I don’t have a degree in cold, hard facts)

  1. Life has winners and losers. (I don’t really need to cite examples do I?)
  2. If you want something, you need to do something to attain it.  No one just hands you something for sitting home on your couch.  I have never met a Publishers Clearing House winner.
  3. There will be things you need to try out for, and you are probably not getting everything you try out for.  Ask any famous actor how many auditions they went on before they landed a role.
  4. When you are rejected (which you will be) you’re allowed to be upset.  You are not allowed to wallow for days, weeks, months, years.  What good is wallowing going to do?  Is it getting you what you want?  If it does, please write about how you wallowed your way to success.  It will be a bestseller.
  5. If you are rejected- learn from your mistakes.  Figure out what you need to do to improve your chances.  Try again.
  6. If you fail again- what’s the worst thing that happens?  Does a monster eat you?  If that is a possibility, I would rethink what your priorities are.  Anything that ends with being eaten by a monster is probably not a good life path.
  7. And after you fail, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get on with whatever you need to do.  Because that’s what winners do- winners pick themselves up and get on with life. (FYI- there will be a future blog with more examples of failure and it’s benefits)

No one wants to fail.  But guess what?  We all do.  And if we don’t, we haven’t tried for anything- we never went out of our comfort zone.  We played it safe because we were afraid of being devastated.  So great- you were never devastated.  But guess what- you were never anything else either.

 

 

Posted on by LA · 38 Comments

Change: A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there lived a Princess.  This Princess had lived her life fairly effortlessly, but she had some self esteem issues.  She didn’t realize that she was basically a decent person, so she was always trying to prove her worth.  She always tried to be nice to people and went out of her way to help others, but not out of a sense of altruism, but because she felt she needed to, so people would like her.  She did not feel worthy on the inside- she was looking for validation from external sources.

One day the Princess met a Court Jester.  He was not a nice person.  Most people did not like him.  He was smart, but arrogant.  He was attractive, but did not take care of himself.  He was quiet, but not shy.  He thought everyone around him were his inferiors. He drank way too much.  He did way too many drugs.  Of course, the Princess thought this would be an excellent project.

The Princess saw all the bad qualities that the Jester possessed.  But she kept thinking, if only he would change, he could be a great person.  He has all the positive attributes one needs in the world, he just needs to change.  And she kept thinking – he just needs to change, and she was the one person in the world that could make this possible.

And the Kingdom laughed.  Because the Kingdom knew that people don’t change just because the Princess wants them to.

But the Princess kept on dating him.  And married him.  And she kept trying to change him.  She made sure his clothes were always clean.  She made sure he had grooming necessities.  But he did not care.  He still left his beautiful clothes in a pile on the floor.  He still let his hair get unfashionably long.

She told him he needed to stop drinking.  She would pour bottles of alcohol down the sink.  He just bought more.  With her money.  He laughed at her and told her she was useless.  But she still tried.  Because if he would only stop drinking, he would have a great life.  Couldn’t he see that she was going to make a great life for them?

She ignored the sight of him drunk on the toilet, sleeping against the wall.  She ignored the cigarette burns on the floor of the den.  Because he was going to change.  Because she wanted him to change.

What the poor, sheltered Princess didn’t realize was that people don’t change if they don’t want to.  She didn’t realize that the change has to come from within one’s self, that the jester was never going to change because she wanted him to.  She didn’t realize how sad she had become.

The Princess had money.  She had a nice car.   She had made a pretty apartment and had beautiful clothes.  The Princess had all the things she had ever wanted.  She didn’t understand why she was so sad- because she had everything.

One night, a fairy godmother appeared in her dreams.  (Another version says that it was a pea under the mattress, but we’re sticking with fairy godmother.)  FG told the Princess that she needed to change.  Yes- the Princess needed to change her thoughts and actions, because the Jester was NEVER going to change his.  The Princess didn’t deserve to be sad and unhappy all the time.   The Princess felt conflicted at first- to leave the marriage would be to admit failure- she had failed to make the Jester into a Prince.  She had wasted so much time and energy on this person…..Was leaving her only option?  Was walking out the door the only thing that would make the Princess happy again?

Yes.  The Princess realized that yes, leaving was the only possible solution.  The Princess had to pack her pretty car with her pretty clothes and her cat, and the Princess had to flea the dungeon that she had been living in.  She unlocked the chains that kept her shackled to this farce of a marriage, and walked across the drawbridge to a different kingdom.

And she lived happily ever after.

 

Posted on by LA · 22 Comments

I’m too Old for That

I play this silly app, Design Home (where I get to live out my fantasy of being Joanna Gaines for 20 minutes a day) and when I was voting the other day, I noticed an interesting screen name: “I’m too old to play this game”.  Now, I’m not too old to play the game, but I thought about other things I am too old to do.

  1. Wear stilettos.  Yes, I know I look hot in them, but really, standing in heels is not something I want to do
  2. Maintain my hair in it’s natural brunette state.  Vanity has precluded me from going grey, so I have turned to the shade that has more fun.  If you knew me, you would know that blonde is the last thing I ever thought I would be.  And I’ve always been fun…
  3. Be petty.  Of course, just because I’m too old for it doesn’t mean I’m never petty.
  4. Be mad at my parents for parenting mistakes, or things they did.  It’s done.  My life is my responsibility.
  5. Care what others think of me.  Frankly, you are too old for this on the day you are born.
  6. Eat after 9pm.  Seriously, there’s logic behind the early bird special.
  7. Leave the house without a list of everything I’m supposed to do, buy or see.  And list should be in chronological order.
  8. Finish a book that I hate.  I used to have this thing about finishing every book I started- it only succeeded in making me miserable.
  9. Argue with my husband about stupid things.  It’s never worth it.
  10. Accept an invitation to something because I’m “supposed to”.  Unless I can think of a valid reason as to why I am “supposed to”.
  11. Shop at Forever 21.  I realize the name implies that I’ll always be 21, but I can’t fathom shopping at the same place my daughter does.
  12. Sit in the direct sun at the beach.  Or sit on a blanket on the sand.  I like an umbrella and a chair.  Call me a Princess.
  13. Hold on to anger.  It doesn’t mean I can’t get angry (you may have read a rant or three of mine) but it does mean I have to let it go.
  14. Hold on to sadness. Same rules apply.
  15. Pretend I am younger than I am- why bother?  What’s wrong with the age you are?
  16. Obsess about my looks.  When I say obsess, I mean constantly wondering why I don’t look the same as I did 20 years ago.  The goal is to be healthy and take care of myself.
  17. Snapchat.  Seriously- anyone over the age of 30 that says they know what snapchat is, is lying.
  18. Ski.  I know I’m not too old for this, but I just don’t like skiing.
  19. Engage is discussions about politics or religion.  No good can come from this.  Everyone is entitles to their own opinion.
  20. Play tennis with my daughter and win.  Two years ago, I was able to beat her.  Winning is now a distant memory.  She is faster, stronger, and I hate to admit this, smarter than me.

Don’t worry- there will soon be a list of things I am NOT too old for!

Posted on by LA · 19 Comments

Sunday Wrap up

Another Sunday- another week in review.  Think of the following as recommendations, not really reviews.  Ratings are done 0-5.  I am receiving no compensation for or from anything I write about.  This is all purely pleasure (in most cases anyway)  All places are in NYC unless otherwise noted.

Movies:

“Baby Driver” I did not like this movie(though I realize I am the only person in the world that didn’t.)  It started off fine and then went off the rails- he’s no Tarantino. Great soundtrack though. 3.8

“Hero” This is a pretty decent movie.  Moves slowly, which I realize is a directorial choice, but still….4.1

Television:

“Broadchurch” David Tennant.  In the movie of my life starring Diane Lane, David Tennant will be my husband.  I think he elevates anything he appears in.  Though I enjoyed Season 1 of this series much more, I’m going to keep watching. 3.8

I have officially given up on the Prime Suspect reboot.

Books:”

“The Portrait” Antoine Laurain  I did not like this book.  Let me rephrase.  I did not understand this book.  If anyone read this, and got it, please help me. 2.8

 

Art: I know nothing about art- I just like to look at pretty and interesting things.  They inspire me, but don’t expect learned criticism, unless you call “ooh its so pretty” learned criticism.

“Mutations” The High Line- to me the High Line is the greatest example of upcycling anywhere, by converting an abandoned rail track into a glorious urban green space.  They often have outdoor art exhibits, such as this years Mutations.  Mutations itself has both good and bad works, but really, you’re walking outside in a beautiful park.  Venue:4.9 exhibit: 4

Morgan Library and Museum 4.5 I love this place- as they are part library, they tend to do many exhibits revolving around writers.  Perfection- “Henry James and American Painting” 4 interesting look at James and his life- try to get tour- docent Elizabeth is wonderful! “This Ever New Self Thoreau and His Journal” 4.5 (First edition Walden, his journals, recommendation letter from Ralph Waldo Emerson) “Noah’s Beasts” 4.2 (works that are from Mesopotamia- amazing) “Poussin, Claude, and French Drawing in the Classical Age” some of these works are just gorgeous.

History:

Federal Hall 4.  The spot (not the building) where Washington took the oath of office.  Interesting and free.  Self guided tour is actually pretty good.

Food

I tried a lot of food this week- here is the quick rundown of highlights:

Salvation Taco 4.5

Hometown Barbecue 4.5- bonus- take Ikea ferry to get there

Steve’s Key Lime Pie 4.9 I got it at Brooklyn Crab, but if you see it, get it

Shake Shack 4.5

I think anything at any of these places would be great!

 

 

 

Posted on by LA · 8 Comments

Friends for Days

Thanks to Jay  https://www.thisismytruthnow.com/ for nominating me for this tag.  Please join Jay on his honest, touching and often funny journey by following his blog.

The rules:
• Say who created the tag and provide a link to their blog.
• Do a blog post showing your Tag.
• Add the logo to the post.
• Always thank the person who nominated you, provide a link to their blog and, if you like, say something positive and supportive about their blog.
• Choose 5 bloggers that you don’t know very well or that are just starting their blog.
• Go over to their blogs and read a few posts, like and comment.
• Say 3 things you love about their blogs; (3 things for each blogger)
• Those 5 bloggers are automatically nominated to do the same.
• Nominate two bloggers who have been doing this for a longer time! Don’t forget to let them know you’re nominated them!

I nominate the following:  These are bloggers that I am just getting to know, and am interested in learning more:

http://viewsfromaroundthecorner.wordpress.com/  poetry, honesty, elegant writing

https://kipwalkin.wordpress.com/ poetry, inspriration, positive outlook

http://annielikeswords.com/ she loves words and writing, and it shows in everything she posts

http://marriagesuperhighway.wordpress.com/  honesty, clarity, wisdom

http://itslifebysh.wordpress.com/ great reviews.  Looking to expand knowledge of film, art, theater, dance and travel

No worries if you don’t want to participate!!

Posted on by LA · 34 Comments

Blog Type: Decoded

After spending a few months writing, and reading, blogs, I have ascertained that there are 6 general types of  writing based blogs: (though I do realize that sometimes a blog can be more than one type)

  1. Opinion– I appreciate and respect all opinions, whether I agree with them or not.  My only caveat is that the opinion be logical, well thought out, and based on valid reasoning.  I do not like opinions such as “I hate opera” when the person speaking has never actually seen or heard an opera.  A person with this type of opinion is stupid, based on the fact that, you know, they’re stupid and the reason is stupid.
  2. Personal– These are my personal favorites.  These blogs share a piece of someone’s life.  I think the writers of these are brave for sharing their stories and struggles.  I also appreciate the honesty and humor of these posts.  I like when the writers personality shines through.  Thanks  Mojo for the inspiration on wording, also one of best personal blogs I have read. http://momentumofjoy.wordpress.com/
  3. Reviews– You know- someone tells you their impressions of a book, movie, whatever.  Reviews are a tricky thing for me- I prefer recommendations.  When I read a book review, I look for genre, one line plot summary, and a rating.  I don’t like spoilers.  However, after I have read a book I love to go back and look at the reviews. Same with all other things that are reviewed, except food, because I will go to a specific restaurant for a specific dish.
  4. Instructional-How to’s- recipes, DIY, tips on organizing (this is my favorite type of instructional- I could get lost in a sea of organizing blogs)- Basically anything that gives you a roadmap on how to do something.
  5. Fiction- Flash, short story, poetry- anything that tells a story in a fictional way.
  6. Fact Based- These are blogs that explain things based on research.  There is evidence to support the claims in these blogs.  And they are factual.  Or at least they are supposed to be…..

Now here is where I begin to rant….be forewarned…….

I grew up on Long Island,  in a SUBURB of New York City.  For the better part of 30 years, I have resided in Manhattan, a BOUROUGH of New York City, mailing address, New York, NY.  Of these facts I am certain.

I read a blog the other day about New York City.  The writer stated that Manhattan was a suburb of New York City.  This made me irrationally angry.  If you are going to write a factual piece about a place, get the details straight.  I commented, telling the writer that things written were factually incorrect, (and for the record I did not say- hey- check the definition of suburb and explain to me how Manhattan, with a population of about a gazillion people can be a suburb, and then what would the urban area be) and gave the correct information.  Of course, the writer neither approved my comment, nor corrected the post.

So here’s my opinion: if you are writing a fact based piece, it is your responsibility as a writer to make sure your facts are correct.  When you have an error, and this error is pointed out to you, it is your responsibility to correct it.  By not doing these things, everything you write, that is fact based, comes into question.  How can a reader trust you?  Where is the integrity?

Let the commenting commence:

Posted on by LA · 18 Comments

Tempty Nesting

Today marks the last day of tempty nesting (temporary empty nesting).  The daughter will return later this evening, and I will officially go back to being Mom on call.  Here are my random thoughts on the experience.

  1. Tempty nesting is exhausting.  The husband and I had lots of dates, both just ourselves and with other couples. We laughed a lot, stayed out late, and drank a bit too much (it’s actually a little scary how quickly I’m regaining my tolerance for alcohol- I was a one drink and done for the past 14 years, now, Ok, I’ll finish off that bottle)   We originally planned on going out last night, our last night of parental freedom, but we looked at each other in the morning, and we knew.  We knew we needed a night to play remote roulette, maybe a game of backgammon, and just sit on the couch.
  2. Tempty nesting needs to have a cohesive plan of attack.  You must find the right balance of couple time, double date time, alone time and time with friends other than your spouse.  This is crucial.  You need to find balance in a life not dependent on needs of offspring, or frankly, your spouse.  Your spouse can not be your only source of entertainment.
  3. Tempty nesting requires a hobby that requires the use of your hands.  You need your fingers to have an outlet other than texting your child.  I used my hands to take photos of random things that I never before saw the beauty of.
  4. Tempty nesters need to realign their perspective.  You’re allowed to see yourself as an individual, not just a Mom or Dad.  Though you will always keep the parent hat in your arsenal, you are allowed to change to a cap or a beret or, heaven help us, a hipster beanie.
  5. It’s really nice not to have to worry about dietary needs of a teenager.  My daughter is a very adventurous eater and not picky, but she has chosen not to eat chicken, beef or pork.  This would be great if I liked fish….
  6. Quiet is nice- there is no such thing as quiet when you live with a teen- (OK, to be fair, the Husband is quite loquacious, the only quiet time was when I was completely alone)
  7. As my daughter routinely empties both the litter box and the dishwasher (not at the same time) I feel that I’m going to need to hire someone to do those chores when she leaves for good.

I am thrilled that I survived Tempty Nest 2017.  And I know that the actual empty nest will be a bit harder- but I like a challenge.  I’ll never be ready for her to leave home, but I know I will survive it.