The Daughter is trying out to be a ballperson at the US Open. (you know- the kid that stands at attention at the side of the net, and gets to hold an umbrella over the head of a ranked player) The following is a conversation I had with someone regarding this.
Friend: What’s up for today?
Me: I told daughter that I would go to Queens with her. She has a callback for ballperson.
Friend: Didn’t she try out last year?
Me: Yes. Same thing. She made it to the second round last year, and she made it to the second round this year.
Friend: But she didn’t get to be a ballperson last year.
Me: I know. That’s why she’s trying out again.
Friend: But she didn’t make it.
Me: I know.
Friend: So why is she trying out again?
Me: She wants to be a ballperson. The only way to be a ballperson is to try out.
Friend: Wasn’t she devastated last year when she didn’t make it?
Me: Disappointed? Yes. Annoyed at herself? Yes. Figure out what she could have done better? Yes. Devastated? No.
Friend: Why are you letting her try out again? What if she doesn’t make it again? She will feel so bad about herself. She will have failed twice.
Me: OMG you’re so right. A hole will form in the earth and she will get swallowed up. She will take to her bed and start wearing a wedding dress because of the man that left her at the alter. She will put a curse on all those that make ballperson……
OK- you got me. I really didn’t say that. But I thought something along those lines. My actual reply was:
Me: Do you think the humidity is going to break?
Because how else do you answer that?
Here’s the cold, hard facts: (opinion- I don’t have a degree in cold, hard facts)
- Life has winners and losers. (I don’t really need to cite examples do I?)
- If you want something, you need to do something to attain it. No one just hands you something for sitting home on your couch. I have never met a Publishers Clearing House winner.
- There will be things you need to try out for, and you are probably not getting everything you try out for. Ask any famous actor how many auditions they went on before they landed a role.
- When you are rejected (which you will be) you’re allowed to be upset. You are not allowed to wallow for days, weeks, months, years. What good is wallowing going to do? Is it getting you what you want? If it does, please write about how you wallowed your way to success. It will be a bestseller.
- If you are rejected- learn from your mistakes. Figure out what you need to do to improve your chances. Try again.
- If you fail again- what’s the worst thing that happens? Does a monster eat you? If that is a possibility, I would rethink what your priorities are. Anything that ends with being eaten by a monster is probably not a good life path.
- And after you fail, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get on with whatever you need to do. Because that’s what winners do- winners pick themselves up and get on with life. (FYI- there will be a future blog with more examples of failure and it’s benefits)
No one wants to fail. But guess what? We all do. And if we don’t, we haven’t tried for anything- we never went out of our comfort zone. We played it safe because we were afraid of being devastated. So great- you were never devastated. But guess what- you were never anything else either.