Today marks the last day of tempty nesting (temporary empty nesting).  The daughter will return later this evening, and I will officially go back to being Mom on call.  Here are my random thoughts on the experience.

  1. Tempty nesting is exhausting.  The husband and I had lots of dates, both just ourselves and with other couples. We laughed a lot, stayed out late, and drank a bit too much (it’s actually a little scary how quickly I’m regaining my tolerance for alcohol- I was a one drink and done for the past 14 years, now, Ok, I’ll finish off that bottle)   We originally planned on going out last night, our last night of parental freedom, but we looked at each other in the morning, and we knew.  We knew we needed a night to play remote roulette, maybe a game of backgammon, and just sit on the couch.
  2. Tempty nesting needs to have a cohesive plan of attack.  You must find the right balance of couple time, double date time, alone time and time with friends other than your spouse.  This is crucial.  You need to find balance in a life not dependent on needs of offspring, or frankly, your spouse.  Your spouse can not be your only source of entertainment.
  3. Tempty nesting requires a hobby that requires the use of your hands.  You need your fingers to have an outlet other than texting your child.  I used my hands to take photos of random things that I never before saw the beauty of.
  4. Tempty nesters need to realign their perspective.  You’re allowed to see yourself as an individual, not just a Mom or Dad.  Though you will always keep the parent hat in your arsenal, you are allowed to change to a cap or a beret or, heaven help us, a hipster beanie.
  5. It’s really nice not to have to worry about dietary needs of a teenager.  My daughter is a very adventurous eater and not picky, but she has chosen not to eat chicken, beef or pork.  This would be great if I liked fish….
  6. Quiet is nice- there is no such thing as quiet when you live with a teen- (OK, to be fair, the Husband is quite loquacious, the only quiet time was when I was completely alone)
  7. As my daughter routinely empties both the litter box and the dishwasher (not at the same time) I feel that I’m going to need to hire someone to do those chores when she leaves for good.

I am thrilled that I survived Tempty Nest 2017.  And I know that the actual empty nest will be a bit harder- but I like a challenge.  I’ll never be ready for her to leave home, but I know I will survive it.


18 thoughts on “Tempty Nesting

  1. What a great title Tempty Nesting lol, love it. I remember when it finally hit me that both my daughters were getting more independent I had just split from their dad and suddenly realised that they had their own lives to lead and I had helped them through their younger years but they did not need me in the same way. Suddenly they were making life changing decisions with their partners. I accepted that both their dad and I had done a great job but it was time to let go.

    I’m very close to both of my daughters and they come to me if they have a problem that they want to share with me as I do them.

    Your daughter sounds like a lovely young lady who will leave home at some stage and then honestly your life will open up more than you realise because you will be the real you again. 🌹

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  2. One thing I’ve discovered since my son left for college and my daughter started working is that I will need to find a hobby or something before she leaves for college next year. I can’t spend the rest of my life watching TV alone.

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      1. We didn’t have those! But I miss school concerts and sporting events. We no longer live in the community where our children attended school, otherwise I’d still go to these events. We live out in the middle of no damn where.

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  3. I have such mixed feelings about this. Date night???? YEAH BABY!!!! But then what? This made me laugh but it also pulls at my heart strings. I should have given birth to yo-yos. They leave and come back and leave and come back. Seems like a better balance for a nut like me. Thankfully you seem to be handing like the rockstar you are! 😉

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      1. Nope. Can’t mentally go there. Even when I’m livid with my crew, I can’t fathom it. I envision a commune but ideally without the things associated with that word. Perhaps a commune is not a good plan. Hmmm. Please figure this out before I follow in your steps. 😉

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  4. I can’t even begin to imagine. I never had kids, so I have no clue what my mom went through and I have no clue what you’re going through. I just know that I’m so proud of my mom for not just surviving it but thriving; and I’m proud of you for surviving and thriving in your trial run!

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