When I was five I was Batman for Halloween. I remember the costume- the plastic mask, the polyester jumpsuit, the cape.  I was obsessed with the show, and at 4:30 I would race to the tv to follow the story of Batman and Robin, and watch them save the world.  I loved Wayne Manor, especially the Batcave.  I wanted to be a superhero- to fight for those who could not stand up for themselves, to make the world a better place.  And the accommodations weren’t too shabby. Those were the dreams of a young suburban girl.  I wanted to take on the world.

As I got older, things changed.  Life got hard, often a struggle just to keep up.  I was in a marriage that I didn’t have the strength to get out of, a job that was monetarily fulfilling buy soul sucking.  I felt trapped and alone and afraid – the exact opposite of a superhero- I was Unbatman.  The world around me was a mess- financial crisis, war, poverty, sickness, homelessness- and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it- about anything.  Everywhere I turned- the situation seemed hopeless, and I was powerless.  This was not how the five year old me envisioned life.  Maybe I had the Batmobile, but I sure didn’t have anything else.  This was the reality of a 30 year woman.  I wanted to crawl into a cave.

Time passed, and I got older.  I’m in a better marriage and I ditched the job for something less lucrative but more fulfilling.  My building may have views of Gotham, but my apartment more closely resembles Alfred’s quarters.  Life is still hard- I face personal challenges, as does my family.  The world- well, you know.  But I’ve changed my perspective.  I have come to realize that I can’t save the world, but maybe I can make one persons day a little better- check on a neighbor who is ill and pick up some groceries, buy a meal for the person sitting on the corner, donate books to a shelter, volunteer my time.  As a parent I can try to raise my daughter to be a good person, a productive member of society.  Maybe the ability to do something good is the real superpower.  Maybe we’re all superheroes, capable of saving the world one small deed at a time.

I don’t wear a plastic mask anymore, just a make-up one.  My cape has been replaced by a giant scarf.  (But I do wear all black, so I’m sort of a dark knight…..) And I trying to be a better person, and better the lives of those around me.  This is the dream of a middle aged woman.

Dedicated to Adam West, who will always be my favorite Batman.