Anything Can Happen Friday: Stop Publishing

Dr. Seuss books numbering six
the publisher decided to nix
the pictures he drew
the rhymes that he spew
are no longer okay
with the culture today

I assume you all know what happened with Dr. Seuss this week.

I completely understand that we have to learn from the past. We have to look at the stereotypes and misinformation that has spread in our society, and we have to move forward. We are a different place now, and the things that are published should reflect this.

So, in keeping with this…I think we should no longer publish the following:

  1. Product that refers to women as bitches, whores (ho’s) or c****s- because we have come too far as a society to allow women to be referred to in such a degrading manner and have names that belay a certain type of individual.
  2. Product that shows the pretty girl/woman as being mean and backstabbing because we have come too far as a society to stereotype attractiveness with meanness, or “bitchiness”
  3. Product that shows the pretty girl/woman being happy with no problems, because we have come too far as a society to think that attractiveness equates with an easy, happy life
  4. Product that shows the fat girl/woman as the best friend sidekick because we have come too far to think that people who may be overweight do not deserve to be in the spotlight
  5. Product that shows the quirky girl/woman as the one who is always part of a love triangle because the hot guy never sees their true worth because we have come too far as a society to let someone’s uniqueness be seen as odd or off putting romantically
  6. Product that shows girls/women as martyrs who sacrifice everything for their partner/child, because we have come too far as a society to let someone who is a caretaker be seen as “less than”
  7. Product that pits the stay at home Mom vs. the working Mom because we’ve come too far as a society to think that there is one way to parent and that the other way is wrong
  8. Product that labels girls/women as sluts because we have come too far as a society to allow women who enjoy sex to be labeled as something derogatory (we know Taylor Swift had something to say about this topic this week…)
  9. Product that labels Mothers as helicopter, free range, lawn mower or tiger, because as a society we have come to far to think that parenting is easy and that anyone has a clue as to how to parent
  10. Product that shows that women/girls who are PMSing are nasty, moody and crave chocolate because as a society we have come too far to allow a natural, normal biological thing as something to be made fun of
  11. Product that shows women who are peri, post or just plain menopausal as being not quite a woman anymore, because we have come too far as a society to let women going through a biological event to be considered no longer worthy of attention
  12. Product that shows younger women marrying older men as being golddiggers, because we have come too far as a society to question what love looks like
  13. Product that shows women/girls who are intelligent to be seen as undesirable as romantic partners or as anything else because as a society we have come too far to think those who are smart are not funny, sexy, caring or other qualities normally seen as desirable, and that no man wants to be with a woman who is smarter than them

So…

Can we get on this?

And while we are at it…can we please ban not publish “WAP”?

But don’t worry- Another groundbreaking thing happened this week. Amazon changed their logo. You no longer have to look at it and see Hitler’s mustache. I’m glad they finally got around to adapting it. We’ve come too far as a society to need to look at Hitler’s mustache every time we go Prime…

Thank you to everyone who participated in the discussion! Some great commentary came in after I recorded the podcast but know that all comments are greatly appreciated!

Happy Ending?

And they lived happily ever after…

How many movies end like this?

How many endings have been changed so that the ending is indeed happy?

However…

Is there ever a happy ending?

Or are endings just closure?

What’s the last thing you ended? Relationship? Job? Something else?

What was the reason that something ended? Did you end something because you were happy? Or did you end something because in some way, shape or form it didn’t work for you? Did someone else cause the ending and you had no say in the matter?

When you signed the divorce papers, were you happy? Or were you just glad that it was over?

When is the last time something ended that made you happy?

Even the whole pandemic/quarantine thing: I’m glad things are opening up. I’m glad that things are getting back to normal. And in one sense I am happy- ecstatic even. But I know that I will never get back the things that I have lost in the past year. I will never get back that year. Am I happy? Not as much as I’m glad that it’s finally ending. It’s more about the closure. I am ending a very sad chapter in my life that brought me depression and regret and sadness. Happiness is just the illusion we cling to because we don’t want to face what the “before” actually did to us.

Now I swing the topic over to you: Are endings happy, or do they just end something that needs to end? Do endings really only bring us closure?

Have you ever been 100% truly happy over an ending? Or does every ending come with some sort of angst?

This episode features additional insight not included in the post yesterday. You can find out if the hypothetical was really hypothetical.

What Have You Got There

We are going hypothetical today:

The scene: A fast food chain, 12:30 on a Monday afternoon, COVID era

The players: Three employees behind the counter, five people waiting for their food, two people on line waiting to order, one ordering

Person A is the next person on the food line waiting to order. There is one person behind Person A.

Person A is looking at their phone trying to recall what their family wants from this establishment

Person A feels a medium sized tug on their pocketbook which is cross shoulder on their body. The small bag is slightly open because Person A just took out their phone.

Person A jumps with a start because someone is close enough to have their hands on the personal belongings of A. This is covid time and their is a person standing within one foot of Person A even though there are clear designations as to where everyone should be standing and everyone else in the store is observing these protocols.

If you are Person A how do you react?

Scream?

Hit the person?

Make a scene?

Call the police?

What would you do if you were on line in a store and someone tried to pick your pocket?

Real life- this happens to you- what do you do?

Ok- now let’s play with this scenario:

What if Person A was a person of color, and everyone else in the store was not? Are your reactions different than what you said before?

What if Person A was not a person of color, but everyone else in the store was? Do your reactions differ?

Does the gender of Person A and the pickpocket matter? They’re one of each? They’re both the same gender? Does gender affect your thoughts on this?

How about age? Say the pickpocket is a teen? Or, Person A is a teen? Does that change your reaction?

Now for the final talking point:

If this situation were to happen in real life, and someone was to film it, the only thing that would be recorded is the what happened after. Person A makes some sort of reaction, someone else films it. Do you take this possibility into consideration in the split second it takes to realize that you are being pickpocketed? Is your first thought- “Oh- everyone has phones and will record how I act?” or do you just protect yourself and your property?

Discuss:

If you are going to play the drinking game to my podcast from last night, the word is “interesting”.

I Take Care of Me

I recently saw a post on Instagram- the gist of it was:

“Find a man who takes care of himself (eg. books spa appointment), because a man who takes care of himself will take care of you.”

I have to admit I was a little flummoxed to be reading this. Is the way a person treats themselves an indicator of how they will treat you?

I think that people do have to be kind to themselves. I think people need to take care of personal grooming and health needs. I think they need to care for their personal space. I also think that people do need to practice self care. But I think everyone should be doing this to a certain degree. Every single person on this planet should accept personal responsibility for themselves. So, in turn, shouldn’t we all be actively looking for someone who takes care of themselves?

The problem is in the interpretation of what self care means. Self care to me means taking the time out to make sure all parts of me are nourished: food that sustains my body in a healthy way, books and conversation that stimulates my brain, showers and hair cuts and grooming that keeps my appearance in check, relationships that help me emotionally. Self care means taking the time out to be good to myself.

But are there variations of self care?

Can too much self care be a bad thing?

Can we assume that someone who takes care of themselves will take care of you?

Yes.

No.

Maybe.

Who knows.

I guess I want to know what people expect when they say they want someone to take care of them. What does that even mean?

I don’t know if I want my Husband to “take care of me.” I want him to respect me. I want him to listen to me. I want him to not lose his patience when it comes to my daughter or the pets or household inconveniences. I want him to not complain if I put wine in the tomato sauce because the tomato’s and the meat needed a little balance.

But do I want him to take care of me?

What expectations do we have when we try to find a mate? Are we looking for the person that best suits us, or the person who will take care of us?

Discuss:

My podcast now appears on PocketCasts, Google PodCasts, Breaker, and RadioPublic if you use any of those!

Draft Pick

How many drafts do you have in your WordPress folder?

One?

Five?

Ten?

More than that?

Do you know how many drafts I have in my WordPress draft folders?

Three.

My Waking folder has one draft with pictures I took on my ipad during the past week because I found it’s easier to import pictures if I add them into a fake post using gallery. At some point today I will delete it and then I will have zero drafts in that folder.

I am working on a post for someone else’s blog- I do have two working drafts of the same piece because I’m trying to figure out what opening works best and I’m still mulling this over, but I consider this to be the reason why there is a draft folder- because one is thinking of different ways to explore the exact same topic. I may do five more drafts, but it is the exact same story…I’m just presenting the idea differently. And these drafts have an expiration date…I know that in a week or so one of them is going to make it to the finish line as a post…

Those of you with draft folders- how many different ideas do you have in there? I could use the same numbering system, but you get the drift…But how many different ideas are you turning over in your head?

Do you ever intend to write the posts that accompany the drafts in your folder?

I know. I’m going back on a decluttering binge. I’m telling you to empty out the drawers of your WordPress site…

Clutter is clutter, whether it resides on your shelves or resides in your head.

Is having a bunch of drafts in your folder making you a better blogger? A better writer?

Or does seeing the number of drafts bring you down?

Is it just messing with your writing energy?

If you want to get all pop psychology…what is stopping you from writing those posts? Why are you hesitant to tell those stories?

A draft folder shouldn’t be a diary or a journal. If you have things that you need to get out on paper, by all means do it. Writing can be cathartic- it can be a great way of getting all your emotions out on a page in a healthy manner. And if that’s the reason that you have all those drafts, just move them someplace else…

I know. I’ve become the draft folder dictator. I’m telling you how you should keep your draft folder. Am I right to tell you how to live your life?

Of course not.

I’m just looking for more people to be like me, with few drafts in the folder. I often feel like I’m the only person with no drafts hanging out. I’d like more members of my club.

So for today’s assignment I want you to look at your draft folder- consider it spring cleaning now that March has arrived. Write the post if you love the idea. Delete it if you hate it. Move it if it’s important to you but know that it will never see the light of day.

Ask yourself why it’s sitting there…

And here is the next podcast- How excited are you?!

Highlights of the Week That Was


CityCakes located conveniently near the Vet

Worked on making fusilli this week
Betty sleeping on my lap
If the product says “ageless” make the print so that the people who need this product can read it…
I bought tickets to see this…in June. Do you know how good it felt to buy tickets for something in the near future. Something to look forward to!
This is for Q- we were talking about all the little aches and pains that come with aging…
Look who has a podcast….

Ok- so I decided to try the podcast feature that WordPress has added in cooperation with anchor. My thought is that I will post a blog in the morning and in the evening or thereabouts, I will record my blog and add in anything interesting that came up in the discussion. If you have any thoughts or ideas of things that you want to here me talk about, please chime in.

I’m presently on Spotify and Anchor if you are interested!
This is the song I was a little bit obsesses with this week

Gratitude Saturday

Late morning Tuesday I went to work on something on my computer. When I opened my laptop I could not find the cursor…

I am not the most tech savvy person in the world. I pretty much know how to turn on a computer and find the internet, so things like lost cursors haunt me. I researched it for a bit, tried the old reboot method and nothing.

So I got on my ipad and started a chat with ASUS…

I was on with the tech for about an hour- they had me trying everything. Go into this drive and that window and blah blah blah. They kept saying “Did you try F9?” They kept asking me to install a mouse which I kept insisting that I DID NOT HAVE…

The tech appeared stymied.

At some point I got disconnected from tech chat…

I just started randomly trying things…

F6…

The key that I needed to hit was F6…

F6 and F9 are not the same…

I am grateful that I realize that sometimes there is a correct answer…

and I’m grateful that I got my cursor back…

FYI- you can now find me on spotify…

My Month in Books- February

NYC had a lot of snow this month- 8th highest total ever for a February. Here’s what I read from January 27-February 24:

TitleAuthorHow I heard about bookRating
The House in the Cerulean SeaT.J. KluneI don’t know1
The Thursday Murder ClubRichard OsmanI don’t know2
Send For MeLauren FoxJenna (Today Show)3
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn HugoTaylor Jenkins ReidGoodreads Newsletter4
HamnetMaggie O’FarrellIRL book club (college alumnae)5
The Art of Stopping: How to be Still When You Have to Keep GoingDavid KundtzShannon Ables The Simply Luxurious Life6
The Four WindsKristin HannahJenna (Today Show)7
Tomorrow Will be BetterBetty Smithone of my besties8
The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family and Defiance during the BlitzErik LarsonI don’t know9
The SanitoriumSarah PearseReese’s Book Club10
Simple Organizing: 50 Ways to Clear ClutterMelissa Michaelsemail from Barnes & Noble11
Good NeighborsSarah LanganBarnes & Noble book club12
The Tea ChestHeidi ChiavaroliIRL book club (tea society)13
The Discomfort of EveningMarieke Lucas RijneveldIRL book club (college alumnae)14
This is the order that I liked the books. It does not mean that the top are the great American novel, a page turner or the feel good book of the century. It just means that some books made me feel more than others this particular month.
I am happy to say that I got BINGO this month! 25 books to get one line across! Next month there will be a new BINGO card!

Tick Tick

My daughter sprinted into the living room:

OMG! A and L made a tik tok that went viral

To answer the two questions that you may have:

  1. TikTok is “a massively popular app that lets users create and share videos up to 60 seconds long” informal definition according to dictionary.com
  2. A and L are the daughters of my brother in law’s (via my sister in law) cousin. We have met them on many occasions over the past twenty years

Now to the story:

The Grandfather of A&L left the girls a text. In it he extolled the virtues of the Grandson of one of his friends from the country club. He told the girls where the guy worked and what he did, who the family was, and what he looked like. He told the twins that as the guy lived in NYC one, or both of them should text him.

With me so far?

The twins then decided to text this guy while filming it for a TikTok. The video went something like this:

Hey- do you know that your Grandfather is pimping you out?

There was a little more to their words but this was the gist of the video, and I believe the line that made people laugh and cringe at the same time, thus ensuring its viralness…

We can think about this on a variety of levels:

  1. Should relatives be trying to set you up on dates if you haven’t explicitly asked?
  2. Were the twins right to call out their Grandfather like this, on a public forum?
  3. Was it fair to call out the guy on a video, seeing that he had absolutely no part in this and can’t control the actions of his relative?
  4. Is it OK because I’ve met the Grandfather and let’s say he could be a tad…pompous?

What do you think?

Would you be trying to get your Grandkids married off? Would you retaliate if someone tried to set you up?

Discuss:

I’m Ready for my Close up

I recently got new glasses-

When you pick up glasses from the optometrist, they always make you try them on to make sure they fit properly and that the lenses are where they are supposed to be. As I was testing them out, they had a magnifying mirror that I was supposed to look into.

Did you ever really look at your eyes and eye area close up?

I had bought a very inexpensive eye shadow to wear during COVID as I was not wearing make up every day. It seemed fine when I paid 2.99 for it…

Until I really really really looked at my eye area.

While I was supposed to be checking my glasses out to make sure I could, you know, see…

All I could concentrate on was the little glistening mica crystals that seemed to form right under my eye. It looked ridiculous zoomed in about 15x normal rate….I mean, was this how I was walking around the past nine months?

AHHHHH…

My undereye area looked like it had been caught in a glittery dust storm…my eye shadow managed to be everywhere but my eye lid and I hadn’t noticed…

While I realized that my eye shadow game was a clear disaster, I realized something else.

My mascara- amazing. Caught almost every lash.

But the crowning jewel was my eye liner. It was literally and figuratively on point. I mean, the line I drew across my lashline was perfect. Both eyes looked exactly the same liner wise… I didn’t know that eye liner perfection existed…

It was so good to figure out my make up game. I mean is there anything more important than perfecting eye liner?

Oh, BTW…

The glasses are fine too